Basically, it's just a page no one should really bother unless the author is dead.

SPIN THE WHEEL PLEASE

2009-06-16T01:35:00.003+08:00

I've neglected this space. I'm sorry. Sorry, space.

Ok so, I've ORD-ed almost 2 weeks ago, and I've found a job. Which begins tomorrow, and I can't sleep.

I knew I would have mixed feelings about ORD when I saw this day coming. I always have mixed feelings when leaving a certain job, or school which I may dislike very much in the beginning.

I always feeling kinda happy that I'm moving on to something else, but also sad that I'm leaving that said school/job/whatever.

Well, I saw this day coming so I guess I'll be over it sooner.

So anyway, I'm glad to have found a job and I am excited about it. I heard it'll be very stressful but I think I should be able to take it.

Which makes me remember, I always preferred a high salary but stressful and full-of-shit job to a meaningful but low paying one.

Now I'm having second thoughts. I'm constantly asking myself, "What if I hate the place?", "What if I hate the people? I hate people all the time, well, this time it's the corporate bastards, what if I hate them more?".

The interview itself was pretty scary for me. It's the first time I've been to an interview for a job that I need. Like, really NEED because I'm really broke now.

It used to be fine for me to be broke because I can always ask money from my parents. Or steal from my dad(that's another story for another time).

But now, I'm 21, and my parents should be celebrating that I'm not already asking money from, but it's really time I give them money.

I am broke, so broke that I'm already borrowing money from my brother, and I haven't paid him the money for the gift we shared for our mom on Mothers' Day.

This is a big change for me. When I was serving NS, I was so used to having something to do, so used to making the usual decisions, so used to the work in the army.

But this week, I'm free to do everything I want, sleep anytime in the day, wake up anytime I want, I am actually slowly getting used to being free.

And then I slowly spend every cent I have away.

Then I find another place to bind up my time, so I can make money to spend again.

So anyway, I heard of this logic about Getting a Low-income Job You Like Vs. Getting a High-income Job You Dislike.

See, let's say you got the latter, and you make $10,000 a month, but it consumes all your time, and you only manage to enjoy 1 day a week, and probably have a rest-month in 1 year. So mathematically, you enjoy 5 weeks a year.

Now for getting a low-income job you like, you make $1,000 a month, but you enjoy every hour of the job. Let's not forget you're definitely enjoying the weekends too. You enjoy 12 months a year!

I know, but $1,000 cannot feed family, cannot buy car, cannot buy house, maybe can pay some of the bills.

That, is the perfect example of what life is. Life sucks. That's what it is.

So anyway, I'm lucky to have a brother, and have seen how he lived his life when he just ORD-ed. So I guess it's a good thing for me to have found a job this quick.

Whoever is reading this, thanks.

You're welcome too, because this post is a reminder for you that life sucks.

Celebrations!

2009-01-03T00:04:00.002+08:00

As usual... the holiday periods are here.

And the celebrations. But it gets worse every year.

Anyway something in the army to note. The other day I was sitting on a table when my SGT came to me and asked how heavy I am.

I replied and he said WTF.. Tell you all so many times don't sit on the table. Now go make a sign saying NO SITTING and whoever caught will sit on the floor for 1 month.

I did that.

And few hours later everyone saw the sign and laughed. And Ah Heng planned something with me.

So he called WALIM over and had a chat with him.

Heng: Eh, come here talk lah, there so hot.

WALIM: Ya what you wanted to talk about?

Heng: So how? Your IPPT? Don't intend to pass?

WALIM: I cannot pass my standing broad jump leh.

Heng: Sit down lah, stand whole day still not tired?

And as soom as WALIM sat on the table, I entered the office to get SGT to come and see.

HAHA. Tio spot.

Boring.

It's not so easy.

2008-12-01T22:29:00.002+08:00

What. The. Fuck.

My internet is sucky. Or maybe it is my computer but I'm quite sure it's the internet because I get disconnected immediately after logging in any program. Like WOW. Or B.net. Or MSN. Even youtube stops loading at 1/10 .

Why!

I was on leave for about 8 days, and I pretty much couldn't use my computer at all. That ended up with me spending a little too much money because I was too smart to rot at home, I went out everyday.

And I failed my traffic police test.

But I was pretty shocked that my family and friends were all anxious about the results. Ahhh.. How moving.

So anyway as I cannot use any internet program, I can still use IE and have to refresh every page, I got bored and went to google myself.

And the results from the web are too massive for me to filter myself out, I tried searching for the pages from Singapore.

I thought I would find my blog or my friendster account or something.

But the only 2 results I got are posts from Vicki's blog.

Not that it's bad, I mean I feel pretty honoured that she DREAMT OF ME.

LOL.. And other people la. It's just that I was part of the dream and she said she couldn't figure out why anyway. The main part of the dream was about Felicia, and I had a dream about her too.

So anyway I later tried again at googling my name on the WWW and found my fucking old Hi5 account. And saw a journal of mine and that inspired me to blog.

Ha.

Anyway life is pretty sucky for me at the moment.. At least it's moving on and that's pretty much the only good thing now.

And I'm thinking what the fuck to do my for 21st birthday.

I really don't know, because my friend told me he went to this birthday celebration of his friend's, and that dude actually booked 2 chalets for like many many nights and invited every living human being he knew.

That costs a fucking submarine missile.

I can't do that.

Maybe I should just book a basketball court and get some dudes to try basketball with me.

And I said "try".

That means I can't play basketball.

Ha. Kidding.

Thanks...

football

2008-10-19T04:00:00.002+08:00

DAMN LONG!

Haven't updated for DAMN LONG! Been wanting to the past few weeks but lost the drive when I got home.

So.. Uncle bought me a new computer and I'm really thankful he did.

He also bought me a Longines watch the previous time he came back.

I intended to go to sleep after this Real Madrid v Ath Madrid match, but it is impossible.

That's because the match is so exciting it's got me sitting up and jumping up and down.

I support Real Madrid, so you know, they were at 1 - 0 till 88 minutes. They didn't really attacked at the second half, have no idea wtf they were doing. Ath Madrid was doing all the offense and I was so pissed @ Real.

"Fucking assholes, they keep this up, Ath is bound to get a score."

AND THEY FUCKING DID. AT 88th minute.

And Real Madrid came back up on offense. And thank heavens for the 6 minutes injury time, Real got a penalty shot at 95th minute! And they SCORRRRREEDD!!!

2 - 1.

Still unable to sleep.

Wah 2 months already.

2008-05-16T04:23:00.004+08:00

Ouch. Really apologise for the lack of updates. To the blog I mean, it isn't like i'm not aware no one's reading already, lol. Well with the exception of SYS, of course.

I've always been wanting to update, but I guess it's because I found a substitution for this blog.. I have a notepad in camp, and usually when I'm on duty and have nothing to do, I'll write in it. Yes my duty usually involves only me and my dog, though technically I'm not alone, but Donna doesn't understand a single word I say. Well, besides the commands.

I understand, having a notepad as a journal sounds pretty gay. No choice, man.

Some colours for the post. This picture was taken on my birthday. I think I was yawning and didn't notice my mom was taking pictures of us.

And my POP. I miss BMT, man!

Not very slim then, but slimmer than now. Aiya.

Anyway, nothing much to update on recently. But my Xbox spoilt, and I spent 180rm to repair it. Er.. Spent $168 on a computer chair too, cuz the previous one spoilt on me too. But this new chair rocks, it's really comfortable.

I'm happy to spend on things like this, well, at least it beats spending on drinks.

P Q Foooooo

Anyway recently in camp when I'm not on duty, I bring out the badminton raquets and have games of badminton. I love badminton.

But I lost all my raquets leh? But is raquets spelt like that?

Anyway I think I'm going to go buy a few raquets pretty soon. I keep wanting to play with my bro but we can't find the badminton raquets. I think we lost them when we moved.

It's been a long time since I had a proper game of badminton. The games in camp aren't proper because it's outdoor and always windy so it's hard to play, but have to make do with it, coz I can't play soccer.

Soccer is every dude's thing it seems. People keep talking about EPL, how Man U owned this team, how this team trashed that team.

It gets boring whenever they talk about it. But I understand the excitement, because I do watch soccer when it's the world cup. Or when I place a bet.

But it's been a long time since I bet on soccer. I don't get addicted to soccer betting so I guess it's fine for me.

Anyway new guys posted over here again.. everytime new guys get posted here, my work feels lighter... And my mood too. Because it feels closer to ORD.

Can almost smell the O of ORD already already.

Part of me is afraid to ORD, because I seriously have no idea what to do.

I understand how tough it is to live without enough cash, this world is all about the cash man.

When I ORD, I can't just keep spending money and wait for the 10th to come. The 10th won't be the same again.

And I always hear from the laojiaos that ORD about what they decide to do, and everything they''re planning is everything I hope I won't be doing. One of them said he'll try to get a job in Mediacorp as the person who plays the commercial everytime there is a commercial break.

Got such a job meh?

But I don't want to be doing that when I ORD.

Another dude says he still didn't know what to do.

I don't want to be like that too.

It's still not too late to think of what I want to do, I guess.

LOL, I still have a year. Anyway camp life sucks abit now, I have to stay back for RT. It's okay with me, the RT, but it starts at 3pm on my off days.

OFF days leh. And now suddenly there's a whole event going on, so instead of booking usually at 3pm, I have to boook in in the morning, 8am.

FUCKKKKK.

Whoa whoa whoa

2008-03-13T11:45:00.002+08:00

It's the 9th month of my NS life now. I'm pretty glad that time passes by so quickly, but I couldn't believe I am still missing my BMT life.

I managed to see one of my BMT mate during duty, and I missed BMT even more. Well, no point talking about it, it's all past now.

So anyway I celebrated my birthday awhile ago, it was okay, little fun here and there. I'm 20 already.

I don't know why, but there's just this concept in my mind. I feel like any age below 20 isn't mature. But then, the difference between 20 and 19 is just one year. But I just sort of think that once you reach 20 you're like, an adult.

Not that I feel I've matured a lot, I still feel like a teenager, to be honest.

So anyway my brother went off to be a property agent, and I'm pretty darn proud of him. He's hardworking, for whatever reason he has, but it's surprising.

You know, when we were kids, he was so lazy that he would lie down on his bed in the room, without turning on the air-con or fan, even if it is fucking warm. He just had to lie on the bed and his body would just meld into the bed. And every single day I had to turn on the air-con for him.
If I didn't, he would just not stop whining till I did.

Well, comparing him to when we were kids isn't fair, hah. I was an even worse bastard child back then.

The weather these days is just shiok. I love the rain for many reasons.

Anyway, I got back up to learning driving again. I went on hiatus for more than a year, and it's really difficult for me to get back up on it again. I just hope that this time, I won't stop after failing a few theory exams, because I wasted too much money on it already.

Anyway I remembered a story Tim told me 2 years ago. He had a friend who borrowed money from his dad to go for driving lessons, and I guess his family isn't too well-off. And that dude, used the money all on soccer betting, and lost it all away, haha. But here's the sad part. The next day, after losing all the money, he returns home. And his mom said,"Boy ah, can you return me the money? Daddy has got throat cancer.. He needs the money for the treatment."

Hey suddenly I feel like I've typed this before. Nevermind.

I still miss BMT. I don't know if I'm normal to miss BMT this much. I asked a few of my other friends and they said "Ok lah, not much."

I feel like an overseas student missing his family. I guess that's enough update for now, gotta run!

UPdates

2008-01-27T13:57:00.000+08:00

Hello again

I don't know man, everytime when I'm in camp, I'll be thinking of what to type and all, but when I reach home I forget everything.

I thought of buying a notebook to bring it everywhere with me. Anyway camp life is fine up till today. Can't wait for the time to pass, the feeling of booking in sucks alot.

Though sometimes it's quite fun in camp, but only sometimes, because I guess there are people whom I don't really like. Well, it happens everywhere.

I finished the whole season of Supernatural, and I think I'm addicted to it. Sigh, DVDs. Have no more DVDs to watch already..

I'm thinking of where to celebrate my birthday because it's coming reaaaalllyyyyy soon, but I always just sort of plan on drinking. I know it's bad, and boring to some people, but I really don't know what to do. It can't be just a dinner because everyone knows a celebration doesn't just stop there.

I really can't think of anything. Chalets are like out of the way, I know many people hate the idea of having to cramp at a place where there are little seats and little places to sleep, and waiting to eat a chicken wing for 15 minutes, only to realise it's not cooked enough.

But sometimes it's fun when everyone can get together and play stupid drinking games, especially when not in public, because in public people don't want others to see themselves playing stupid games and laughing too loudly, and vomitting and all that ugly shit.

It's fine if among your own friends.

But it's really troublesome to organise a chalet. Buying all the food when no one really finishes them. And it's ok if it's one group of friends, but on birthdays you usually invite all your friends, and most of the time not all of them know each other and it gets awkward when one of the group isn't enjoying.

How?

I suddenly find the idea of a chalet quite fun but there's really too much to think about. Sigh.

So then, back to drinking already. Drinking at least the people who don't know each other can just get on with their own drinking in the pub themselves. In the chalet people feel obligated to get involved.

No choice, mah.

Even if drinking, the question is "Where?". See sometimes the sleazy places like boat quay, discussion etc etc, are cheaper, and if you go in a big group you pretty much own the place for the night.

But there are people who hate these places, I understand. I also don't enjoy going if it weren't cheaper. I don't enjoy sharing the same oxygen with the 17year old xiao bengs who want to act like they're 20+ year olds. I guess they just don't understand, 20+ year olds don't wear Pink Polo Tees and colour their hair green, purple, blue, pink or any weird colour anymore.

But if we don't go to these sort of places, the drinks will be expensive.

Can't think of anything else already, really.

I'M GOING TO HEAVEN HA

2007-11-28T19:43:00.000+08:00

I think recently I am slowly rising towards heaven. I feel very holy, I think I know why.

Recently I miss my family and friends a lot. I'm not just saying it, but I really miss them a lot when I'm not with them. Like now, I'm at home, alone, because my brother went to work, and my mom went for a dinner with her friend.

And the moment I heard my mom close the door, I start missing her.

This morning, before my brother went to work, he came into my room to look for socks, and I woke up, seeing him come in. I told him to help me close my curtains as the light was coming in, and he did.

And he left my room, and I start missing him already.

And now, everytime in camp, I will sit near the stone table at the smoking point, and I start missing every one of my family and friends. I don't know why, but it feels like a drama serial where I am dying of cancer or maybe already dead and want to speak to every one of them.

But I am totally healthy and, needless to say, alive.

Haha. <- Just to lighten up things.

So for updates, I got transferred to Seletar sometime ago already, and was initially happy with it.

I know, it's fucking stupid that I say "initially" happy. I was happy in the first 3 days, then I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, but it felt like life is a deadly disease after that.

Back in Tengah, I was praying at least twice a day that I would get transferred to Seletar. And at that time, I was thinking to myself, "what if I get transferred but would not be happy about it?" or "what if I get transferred but everything else in life turn out to be sucky for me?".

I couldn't imagine. And I'm not sure, but I think that's exactly what happened.

Aiya, fucking emo, this post.

I think maybe I just haven't gotten used to it. Or maybe I'll never like it.

Why like that...

Anyway, I'm be heading to Bangkok on Dec20 ! Haven't been travelling for a looooong time.

I'll be going with MOMMY, I'm quite happy about it, because it's been even longer that I've travelled with MOMMY. Because of some accomodation complications, either JERMAINE or me will be sleeping in the same room with MOM, according to her.

She made it sound like it is something difficult for us to do, but I'm totally fine with sharing a room with her. Although it might not be as fun, but it is not difficult at all for me to sleep with her. She snores, but I'm fine with people snoring.

WOOOO. Heard from a friend that Suam Lom Bazaar haven't closed down yet, shiok. He's reliable information, because he's got many friends in Thailand as he stayed there for a few months for attachment.

Er... please leave a comment if you are expecting a gift.

I REALLY LOVE MOM AND JER

I'm really stressed up now

2007-11-01T05:49:00.000+08:00

I'm really stressed out this time, man.

I'm posted to a faraway place with a really crazy system. I seriously don't like it, and I'm requesting for a transfer. If my transfer does not work out, I will really go crazy. Seriously, this is too tough for me.

It takes me 5 hours everyday to travel to and fro. And off days, i'm only given about 21 hours off duty. take that, and subtract 5 hours.

Maybe even less, because I cannot reach 7am on time and I have to reach the night before, which means i'm left with 13 hours every off. and 5 hours travelling time? Hell.

I keep telling my friends I rather go to an infantry unit. Or even sispec. At least I have reasonable offs.

This? This is too much to take for me.

Please.. whoever reads this. Please pray for me. Pray that I'll get transferred out.

Let all our powers combine!!

My judgement day will be tomorrow, that will be the day I know if I get transferred out of this place.

I REALLY REALLY LOVE MAMA AND JER

Irony...

2007-09-24T01:36:00.000+08:00

Hey. It's been awhile(again).

FEELING EMO.

I've been waitin for this day for sometime. Someone reminded me, I've been waiting for this day for more than two years. For passing out of BMT.

To get into a unit, preferably a slack one, and S and F outta there.

But these days I miss BMT days. I sound crazy, maybe I am!

But I guess that's what happens to humans, isn't it?

It's 1.37am now, but I still can't sleep. I.. have so much on my mind. I'm feeling contained for a few reasons.

I managed to kick it out, managed to make myself feel better. But it comes back in again.

I saw a BMT-mate of mine on msn, and he left a message behind his name saying thanks to the platoon for the memorable days.

I feel that way too. But deep at the back of my brain, it says "It doesn't matter."

My mind is telling me these people are only around for these 4 months.

Hah, ironic, isn't it. How you want things to stay the same, but change at the same time.

I feel life is like an MMORPG. GEEKY TERM, I'm sorry, but can't help it.

ORD personnel is like level 99, passed on the Patriach character.

I'm like level 10 I guess? And tomorrow I'll be changing my lvling spot, to level up to 20 and above.

There'll be some level 20+ already, but still stuck at the course I'll have to go through, because they somehow suck at proceeding onwards. They probably failed and have to recourse, in reality terms.

Bah. These images of Tekong keep appearing. The good, the bad, and the very good/bad.

Time to move on.

!

2007-08-08T20:12:00.000+08:00

Where should I start? Hmmm.

Maybe it's time I start talking about surface stuffs like what I've been doing, rather than how fucked-up I feel everytime I go back to camp, hahaha.

I wanna note it down, right here, that I'm the marksman of my platoon with a score of 28/32.

Ok, recently we got to do a training which was pretty fun. It was like COUNTERSTRIKE, we infiltrate buildings, rather than firing pointlessly in the trees.

So anyway, it was fun, and I really must say the training grounds are very interestingly made.

IMO, the army has always been trying to simulate things, for us to efficiently train to be a soldier.

But going to this training site this week, I really must say this place takes the whole damn cake.

The buildings are all simulated to be shophouses, as in the old time shophouses with only 2 storeys.

And there are about 6 or 8 buildings, all with their own SHOP NAMES.

It was really funny, there is a seafood restaurant, a bookstore, a medical hall, and a few others I can't remember.

While taking a break from the training, I whined, "Wah fucking pekcek leh come this place, weather so warm, soil so wet, sit down only feel my butt itchy liao. Cb better don't disturb me."

Then a friend said something like, "Relax la, you want to go eat something? We go Treasure Seafood (it was named Zheng Bao Hai Xian Dian in chinese) ? Or we go buy a book and read lah, go Evernew Bookstore? You want you can go buy some jewelry to wear also, go Golden Million Jewels lah?"

The shops are all empty though. I seriously didn't expect the place to be so well simulated.

Anyway I lost about 9KG since I enlisted. GrAtZ!!!!

Still not as slim as the previous time I enlisted.

Is this how we just depart?

2007-07-28T09:25:00.001+08:00

Just went to drink with FK and the rest last night. We had supper after that, and I got a shock by realising that I told myself and all of them, that the old gang at Chocolate Bar will never be complete again. Partly because when I told them that, I knew I couldn't accept a particular person, after a particular incident, in the gang.

But as we had supper and I turned my head to look at everyone, it instantly felt like deja vu. How did this happen? How did I accept something I was so unwilling to in the past, without realising it? And I actually ended up having pure fun.

And so, as I returned home, I pondered to myself (again), isn't life just a bloody cycle?

I thought about typing how life is such a sad cycle, but then again, I remembered I typed something like that before. It's time to scroll through, I guess.

Anyway, I had a wake-up call by the missing case of Felicia.

It's really crazy how someone you knew for some time go missing just like that.

It is sad, even worse, when you remember the things you did with the person just in an instant, without having to even search your brain, when things happen to the person.

Aren't we humans just so selfish?

We take things for granted, and when things happen, we look back and tell ourselves, "There is only so much we can do."

We enter phases of our lives on our own, and slowly we forget each other. Not that sending emails with heart shapes and getting them to forward to 20 other people help.

How do we just disappear in each others' lives? Not just Fel's case of going missing. We all go missing in each others' lives sooner or later, and sometimes we appear again, many times we don't.

Is this how we just depart?

Acting as if the only times we know each other is when we had benefits from each other?

Maybe it isn't true, but deep down inside, the big question mark exists.

For you, we found the secret smoking place in school together.

You wanted to call it biscuits, as a code so teachers didn't understand.

I said it's stupid, why would we eat biscuits in the middle of classes, haha.

You said I had a point, but nevermind, it beats saying cigarettes.

And then you invented the dragon's breath.

I didn't know why it had such a stupid name, but who cares.

And you ran all the way to Newton MRT, Cairnhill CC, and back to school to look for the SOB who ran away with my phone.

You accompanied me to the police station just to make a report which took 2 hours.

This deeds, they don't go along with you.

They remain right here, the place where you still exist.

Suddenly the world seemed such a perfect place

2007-07-22T12:34:00.000+08:00

I had a weird dream last night. Nah, actually it isn't weird now that I think about it.

They say you dream about what you think in the day. I do.

I dreamt I ran into Felicia in the streets, she still had purple hair and was wearing those stylish clothes she always wore.

I asked her why didn't she return home. I can't remember the exact answer, but it sounded like "Aiya just want to run away for awhile for fun la... hahaha" or something to that effect.

My reply was something like "You siao ah, the whole PS paste your face, do you know that?"

"Yeah lar, so paiseh, think maybe I'm going home soon."

Like I said, it was just a dream.

This incident is just so sudden. Bah, life's like this. You always see it in the streets, read it in the papers, watch it from TV/movies, but never expect it to happen to you or people you know.

When it happens, you realise drama is based on real life.

Sometimes I wish I had met her before she went missing. But then again, I thought, it would only make me feel worse if I had met her.

Anyway, went to WL's birthday just last night, had enough booze, nothing else.

My drinking limits are dropping so badly, it's irritating. I felt 100% sober last night but felt like vomiting on my way up the stairs.

I DIDN'T SUCK THIS BADLY. I FEEL LIKE A LOSERRRRRRRRRRRR

Is he a soldier?

2007-07-01T11:04:00.000+08:00

I got detained for guard duty, when the rest of my company get to book out on Friday, 3.00pm.

Not gonna talk about the shit duties, but shagged as I was, on my way home, as usual, I bought a packet of cigarettes from 7-11 below my house.

As I was still thinking what else to buy, this little boy came in with his father.

"Daddy, is he a soldier?", that little boy asked his father.

Father says, "Yes."

I wanted to turn around and tell the little boy I'm not a soldier, I'm only training to become one.

Even if I turned into one, I won't be proud being one. And how can you call someone who isn't proud to be a soldier, a soldier?

Then I remembered, as a little kid, I used to look up to soldiers too. I always loved drawing soldiers on my drawing blocks, for art lessons or not.

I would emphasise on every little detail of the soldiers uniform.

I would put massive effort on the camouflage, draw big guns, and draw the soldiers marching.

I suppose I need a change on my mentality.

I can't remember when's the last time I was proud of doing something I'm doing. I might have to scroll down my blog and read. But not remembering anything could only prove so much of what it's worth.

Anyway, I didn't tell my mates from BMTC about my past experiences from Seletar.

I'm lucky I didn't, because Seletar is hell compared to Tekong.

If I had performed the way I did in Seletar the same way in Tekong, people might have thought I'm siao-on.

Trainings are going uphill, but still, nothing compared to Seletar.

On the 9th day of my enlistment in Seletar, my friends and family actually noticed me slimming down.

Over here? People ask me why I'm still this size even though I'm in the army.

I'm not complaining, because if it's tough it won't be good for me either.

Anyway, I have to mention this.

The day our SGT announced that I'll be on guard duty this weekend, my mates actually did a lot for me.

They kept trying to make me laugh, complete with jokes, and telling me to smile.

I can't remember when my smile was so important to anyone. It might have been, all these while, but maybe just no one said nothing at all. Maybe it's better this way, when no one says stuffs like that.

Because when they actually did, I got shocked. 2 persons offered to lend me their mp3 players for the weekend, my buddy gave me his remaining cigarettes because he knew I won't have enough.

And some even went to the SGT to tell him it isn't my fault for misfiring during simulation.

Some people, whom I haven't spoke to since I enlist, came up to me to give me a pat on the back, saying they understand how I feel.

And my bunk offered to accompany me this sunday, knowing I only have little time outside, they offered to have dinner and book in together.

It's amazing how people and do so much for you when they've only known you for weeks.

Maybe they're just acting and trying to be nice, well, to be fair, I'm not a perfect judge of characters.

Maybe.

ATT C

2007-06-12T16:48:00.000+08:00

I'm on ATT C for three days since yesterday. Had a whole assortment of illness, so the medical officer had no choice but to let me go home, haha.

So anyway, this really funny incident happened at the medical centre.

I just reached the medical centre, and the medic asked me what happened to me.

So I told him, I had sore throat and runny nose about 3 - 4 days ago, then about 2 days ago came the cough, and then came the fever.

He asked why I didn't report sick for the sore throat and runny nose 3days ago.

I said something like, "No need lah, these kind of small cases report for what."

So my turn ended, and the medic called for the next recruit.

The next recruit then limped to the seat, and the medic asked him what happened to him.

And he said very softly..... "sore throat and runny nose."

In about 11 hours time

2007-06-06T22:41:00.000+08:00

I'll be in P. Tekong already. I've been enjoying myself really crazily these weeks, so I know I'm not feeling anything else.

I'm pretty happy it came so soon though, like I always say to others, I just want to get it over and done with.

And so I expect that in 3 months time, I'll be slimmer, haha.

And in 6 months time, I'll be telling people what I'm doing inside, acting as if I'm very proud to be in NS.

And in 12 months time, I'll celebrate the 1 year anniversary, me + army.

And in 18 months time, I'll be slowly clearing my leave, leaving life as half a civilian.

And eventually, 24 months time, you guys will see a post with the title... "I'm FREE!"

We'll see.

the world is unfair?

2007-05-29T14:24:00.000+08:00

Friend: The world is so fucking unfair.

Me: Why ?

Friend: It never is fair.

Me: Why would you say that? I think otherwise.

Friend: Fuck you. How do you explain this: Fat people use more soap.

Me: ...

Kidding.

Something's wrong

2007-05-14T03:37:00.000+08:00

This shows up when i hit New post. Can't be my computer's problem.

Anyway.. it's mother's day, and i'm not all glad about this.

I bought my mom a pair of levis jeans, and she's quite happy with it.

Ok, i'm not all overjoyed because I remembered a little about my childhood. when I was young, probably about 5 years old, the same day today.

I woke up, and my grandpa told me "It's mother's day today, go downstairs and buy your mummy flower. Go and tell auntie you want carnation."

I asked(i loved to ask questions), "What is carnation?"

Gong gong said, "Carnation is a kind of flower, you buy for your mummy she will be very happy."

I asked again, "Why must carnation? Why cannot rose or lily?"

I know about the names of flowers because I loved folding origami, and I learnt how to fold a lily.

Gong gong explained , "Carnation is meant for mothers. And today is mother's day, so you buy carnation."

I got what I wanted, some answers. And so, he passed me some money to go to the market to get some fresh flowers for my mom. Before leaving the house, I asked him "Carnation what colour?"

He replied, "Got pink and got white, just tell auntie you want carnation and she will give you."

I'm not sure i remembered the details correctly, somebody tell me if carnation really have white and pink.

Yeah, I could practically picture out the whole scenario in my head as I type. It seems almost just only a few years ago it happened. The market in Tekka, how I asked Gong gong, everything.

Recently almost everything I do, these images of the past would just punch my head.

I was watching prison break, and was very amazed by their sibling love.

And I remembered an incident.

I was in primary 5 or 6. Our school was going through some renovations, and so our class(or maybe the whole school, I can't remember. Kristal help me please!!!!) was made to use these temporary wooden tables and chairs.

And as usual, bored as I was during lessons, I'd vandalise the tables.

It started with using the eraser. You know, sometimes rubbing the table with the eraser would give you some marks, and I would draw with it. It's visible, but it could go away easily.

Then the habit turn to pens, and finally, to "liquid paper". What's the correct term for it?

And so I drew my whole table with liquid paper, random designs here and there, and finally one day, our form teacher Mrs Lee, caught me.

She made a REAL big deal out of it. She saw the drawings and immediately shouted "WHAT IS THIS," pushing away all my items on the desk, "THIS IS VANDALISM!!!!"

And then pulled my table out of the classroom, took some photos, and said she will conduct an assembly about that.

I know I didn't seemed like that then, but I was freaked out. I got so fucking depressed. I worried she will put me to shame in front of the whole school, I worried she would tell the principal, call my parents down. I worried she would do all the nasty things a teacher would.

I thought it was the next day, so I thought it would be over soon. But she didn't conduct the assembly the next day.

Not the day after either. The wait was killing me, I wanted it to be over. I wanted it to end, and I wanted to carry school as normal.

On 2nd night after she caught me, and I realised she hadn't conducted the assembly yet, I actually was going crazy. See, I'm not used to telling anyone my problems, not even as a kid.

And on the 2nd night, as both my brother and I were watching tv on our beds, I buried my face in the pillow.

I cried like a 1 year old who couldn't find his pacifier.

Then my brother pulled the pillow away from me and asked me what happened.

I couldn't explain the whole story to him, but I summarized it and briefly told him I got caught for something stupid I did.

He then said something to the effect of, "Then? It's only an assembly. There is no caning, no punishment, you so scared for what? In my school, the people do anything wrong, they just bring them to the office and cane. Yours is just a small matter, drawing only what. Aiya so scared also no use, very soon over already what."

I couldn't believe it, because whatever he said sounded like crap, but it helped a whole lot.

I felt so relieved after hearing what he said. I think he's trying to say that there are alot of crimes worse that what I did. I'm at fault, but it's really just a small matter.

The next day, the assembly came. Mrs Lee showed the pictures on the projector, just for examples of a case of vandalism. But my classmates knew it was me, and everyone turned to look at me.

I was so embarrassed and pissed. What's the fucking point of looking at me? I don't know it's me who did that huh?

I hated the looks on their face. If Singapore sold guns I'd probably blast their faces off their then worthless human bodies. Kidding.

So it was over in half an hour, and life went back to normal, more mistakes and more lessons.

OOH I MISS YOU

2007-05-02T05:28:00.000+08:00

I haven't been doing much lately.

It's a real relieve that I've quit my job. I'm back to slacking and having fun occasionally, and I'm missing my old place so much.

Everytime I pass by my old place I'll just feel like I'm at home. I know, that sounded so cliche.

But the feeling is really difficult to be described. It's just, every other stall in Tekka Market is just so familiar. They're all still the same.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but the last time I saw a bangladeshi in Hougang, I actually thought of my old place.

Anyway, I don't know if I want to find a new job, but my driving stuff is expiring soon, in 22 days to be exact.

I'll have to go renew it. I will go down soon.

And recently I've been drinking occasionally, going out occasionally and most I'm at home doing nothing.

I don't know if it's a good thing. I know I will need a job sooner or later, and it will be really easy to go start searching for one now, but I'm just too lazy to do it.

I'm always too lazy to do things, and I know it myself.

I told myself to clean my keyboard since the day I started work, my excuses were always that I have no time.

Now that I have time, I just don't do it.

I am lazy.

Look, the view from my old place. MAGNIFICENT.

I don't even wanna upload the view from my current place, people will just fucking vomit on their keyboard.

I mentioned.

2007-04-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

I'm going to be out of job a week from now.

It took me real great courage to quit. I believe I made the right choice, but I sort of think I could have made a mistake.

People tell me it is difficult to find a not bad paying temporary job.

I think otherwise.

But when I worked in Isetan Scotts I realised there are a lot of people doing more than be, but earning less than me.

That's what makes me feel like I could have made a mistake.

Angela(supervisor) said I always think I'm the best of the best.

I said "No, I don't think I'm very good. But I AM better than many of your employees."

She thinks I'm stubborn. Well, if she isn't stubborn in the first place, she can't think that way of me.

Well, I admit I'm stubborn. Hey, if I wasn't stubborn I wouldn't have joined the company.

Well I think it's time.. to search for another job.

Hope this time it will be better.

I mentioned I don't like people calling me pampered without knowing me well enough.

Because FUCK YOU, look at me, then think about what-the-fuck word pamper is to use on me.

Dang.

2007-03-13T03:28:00.000+08:00

I went to collect my pay today. It's 1300 something and I'm not very pleased with it because I calculated and thought I would have a little bit more.

But the main isn't the main problem. I told Angela about how I feel about my partner Chris' style of working. I told her Chris' doesn't work smart at all. I told her Chris' insists on doing things her own way, and does stuffs that are totally irrelevant.

She then somehow tried to defend Chris' (btw chris is a girl.) by saying everyone has different ways of completing their tasks. I gave her a few examples and told her to reconsider her previous sentences.

Well, after the whole thing. My friend asked me why I "pao toh". I wasn't happy with that description of whatever-the-fuck I just told Angela.

Firstly, whatever I told Angela, I told Chris' in the face before. And pao toh actually means to report stuffs about her, usually bad stuffs. I didn't report stuffs, not to mention they aren't bad stuffs.

I merely gave a few examples of how she works, and obviously these bother me a lot. I sometimes really just want to stand aside and not do anything. I told her to put me with someone else more flexible, that's it.

"Pao toh". Hmmm.

I'm very bothered about this.

One part of me says maybe I shouldn't have told Angela. The other says I DIDN'T DO ANY FUCKING THING WRONG, THESE ARE FUCKING FACTS.

But fact is, I come late and get people punch for me sometimes. What if these facts are stated to Angela too.

IM SO FUCKED UP

how a taxi booking allowed me to realise

2007-02-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

I had planned to type a long one for days.. but obviously do not have the time when I feel like it, and do not feel like it when I have the time.

but I REALLY have to talk about this. Today at work, I was so damn tired, which is weird because I didn't feel tired the whole 13 hours yesterday at work. Today is only 8 hours and I'm like falling apart.

So I decided to take a taxi home. I went to queue for a taxi, and the taxi stand queue was so damn long, and no taxis were coming.

So I stood for about 10 minutes and the queue wasn't moving at all, but gettin longer. So I called for a taxi and got out of the queue.

As soon as I got out of the queue, taxis came FLOWING and within minutes, my initial place in the queue could have got a taxi already, and my booked taxi hasn't came yet.

So I got pissed and cursed the world and all for making me so suay. And I actually thought I felt lucky this few weeks.

So I decided since I already booked, I might as well stand aside and wait for my booked taxi, rather than join the long queue again.

Here's the pro part.

As I stood aside, a hottie from afar called my name.

I got shocked. She's agrippina, a secondary schoolmate. She's turned SO HOT SO HOT SO HOT now. And I chatted with her for awhile, and we exchanged numbers.

Of course, I won't be so egoistic to mention here that she asked for my number first.

Ooops did I just did it?

Anyway, as soon as we finished chatting, the queue was gone and there was a taxi waiting right in front of me.

Lucky?

HEH.

i've moved

2007-02-05T16:22:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, i've officially moved to Hougang. if you really need the address please sms me.

i've started working in Casio already. Initially in vivo city, but got posted to isetan scotts this month.

isetan scotts sucks. every morning before we start work, we have to gather at the cashier for a MEETING.

every little employee must go for the meeting. and the supervisor of isetan scotts will proceed to carry on with her very uninteresting speech, and after the meeting we have to return to our respective counters, for the NATIONAL ANTHEM.

NATIONAL ANTHEM LEH. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I think it's japanese national anthem, i can't hear properly becuz they play it so soft. We have to stand properly for the national anthem and every customer who enters we must bow and say good morning.

so stupid.

And isetan scotts we not allowed to sit, must have the correct standing posture, cannot drink water, must hide and drink, can't use phone, and all that sorta crap.

vivo is much better.

I wanna do some chinese new year shopping. I see so many clothes in isetan and I want to buy.

got no money yet.

My supervisor promised to give me any watch I want if i hit $2000 in sales, and I did, and she said if i hit 1 more time than I get it.

Rubbish. So I only manage to hit $1700 and I told her just give me any watch she wanna give la.

It's my off day today so i'm typing this.

I've got some stuffs to add to my wishlist.

1. Slippers
2. Buddha paintings
3. Dr. Marten's shoes.
4. Some kappa tee i saw opposite my counter
5. some shirt
no more

PWNED

2007-01-24T04:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was chatting online with a classmate, as he'd went for first year degree course already. I was asking if there are any veggies in his class, how tough is it, etc.

I got tired of chatting as usual, and I stood up and stretched a little.

I walk towards the window to relax by looking out. It was then that I remembered I'm about to move soon. Yeah I know, I've been posting stuff related to moving to the new house for many posts already.

But I've this assortment of feelings. I feel excited, about moving in.. finally sleeping with air-con after so long, having my own room, looking for a nice rug to place on the floor.

Back to topic. I was looking out the window, and realised. I realised I'm not studying anymore, and life has changed. But then again, has it really changed or is it just back to normal?

Then I thought, it is the same view I had seen before I entered school. It IS the same view I had seen before I entered the army. It is the same view I had seen before I celebrated my 16th birthday. It is the same. The very same fuckin view.

I was really wondering, if my life had turned back to normal, or has it changed, as if the answer wasn't obvious enough. I probably can't accept changes at all. And when I do, I cannot give them up at all.

Yes.... stubborn. It isn't as if I'm not aware of my own nature.

Anyway, headed out with my classmates, now ex-classmates, this afternoon. Didn't have much to do, and my sinusitis was fucking me up, so we went home early.

I've birthday wishes !
1. Erm.. PSP
2. Paintings of Buddha. Friends who have bad taste should reconsider getting this for me, because I'm not sure many people know what sort I like. BTW, paintings, not posters.
3. Some really cool Dr.Marten's shoes......
4. I don't believe this. I can't think of anything else. Am I crazy? Fuck. My wishlist left 3 only ah.

I must be crazy. I'm looking for this song called Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. My limewire spoilt.

It's just bad timing.

2006-12-31T04:39:00.000+08:00

I'm so fucked now, I don't even know who to talk to about it.

I can't even recollect my thoughts properly. I can only sit in front of this computer, look up into the wall, and take deep breathes at intervals. It doesn't help, but it's pretty much the only way I feel sane... Well, other than drinking, of course.

If I reject your call, it's just bad timing.

If when I sound like I want to put down the phone immediately after I pick up, it's just bad timing.

If I reject going out with you, it's just bad timing.

If I don't reply your sms-es, it's just bad timing.

If I haven't called you for too long, it's just bad timing.

If I appear to be lost, MIA, it's really just bad timing.

Too many late nights can kill. I overheard 2 friends talking, and this is pretty much the summary of their dialogue. If these friends sound uncannily familiar to you, it's not just a figment of your imagination.

Friend FBS --
Someone please remind me I'm only 18. I feel so fucking stressed up. I'm made to pay for things I don't mind paying, but at the end of the day, I really think to myself and ask, "Why the fuck am I paying for this? I haven't heard of any other child(besides my brother) pay for these. I'm not the one who chose to move. I'm not the one who chose to sell the previous house."

I feel that I don't deserve to be this stressed up. I don't have to be worrying about financial status. Not at my age. I stopped asking for things anymore. I don't want to be having asked for things. When I'm broke, I don't even ask for money from anyone. Am I not independent enough? I don't ask for money to buy things I like, HELL, it's been so long that I had bought anything for myself. I haven't shopped for ages( well other than food and minor stuff).

I don't mind not shopping, and not asking for money. I do not mind at all, I can swear by that. I even feel proud being that way. But what the fuck should I think when I'm made to pay for stuffs, that I feel should be given to me, that I feel I deserve? I even pay for my own studies.

Friend AGS --
What the fuck are you talking about? You liked to be independent, remember? You hate childish people, you hate being childish yourself. So what if you're 18? It is a virtue to be independent. You feel you don't have to pay for the stuff because you deserve it?

Honestly speaking, you are considered very lucky. Who has the luck to receive a 5 digit amount of money to spend? You even receive it twice. It's like striking group 2 toto with 25 winners. Who has that luck? Some people buy toto their whole lives and has not struck even once.

You, receiving that money, only spend it on drinking and having fun. Have you used it to do something meaningful ? On one hand you feel happy to receive the money, spend it like a king, and tell yourself that it is only once in a lifetime thing. On the other hand, you finish spending, and lament to yourself how much money you've wasted.

Of course, you are independent enough. You don't ask for money, don't ask for stuffs. But it is only RIGHT for you to do so. You are a bastard if you ask for money and stuffs, acting so pampered will show how you don't give a damn about your mom's feelings/financial status.

It is not wrong to have fun. But it is wrong to have regrets. You can go ahead and spend all the fuck you want, and when you're broke, shut up.

ME --
I feel FBS hasn't done anything wrong, AGS. The fact that he's saying all those, will only mean he has not asked for money, and is only lamenting to himself how stressed up he is. He cares for his mom, that is why he didn't request for anything. True enough, he's spent money as soon as he receive them. But after all, it is only his own money. And to regret after spending his own money, yes, foolish, but regretting will mean that he has not taken on other people for spending his own money.

Feeling remorse or stressed is only being human. After all, we're human beings. I don't know to agree or not with him that he does not deserve to pay for the things. But I agree with you, AGS, that if he did not pay for the things he had to, he'll spend it anyway, drinking or not.

Either ways, take no offense, AGS, I feel that you didn't have to be that harsh on what you just said. You might be right in some ways. Ultimately, my stand will remain in that he did not take his pressure on anyone else, and that's something worth applauding for. He might be independent in many ways, whether he ought to be or not, but honestly being 18 years old and having to pay for things like that, hey, it's tough. For one, I haven't heard of anyone paying for things like that at 18 years old before. It's usually the adults, for what I've seen/heard.

I believe he cares for his family, his mother in this case. Let's look on the bright side, FBS. Being independent is a virtue, and I'm pretty sure you've obtained that. You are not alone. Everyone laments when they meet an obstacle, well, some of them overcome it, some of them don't. But how good would it be, to lament AND overcome it, than to lament and not overcome it right?

Cheer up, life's like that.

************************

Ok, I hope whoever's reading this has read till here. Haha, note the coloured words, I think they're very funny. PLEASE comment if you're reading this.
Who do you agree with most, and why? What are your views on my friend FBS?

As I complete this entry, FYI(for your info) , FBS , AGS are all ME !!
FBS = Fucker bad shermen
AGS = Angel good shermen
There is no devil, but an angel, because the real me is a devil already. Kidding.

But when you comment, comment as if you do not know that they're all me. Try to type like you're talking about FBS, and selectively agree with 1 of them(me).

So please, whoever you are. COMMENT on this post, I don't give shit about other posts, but just on this one. Help me.

So good luck assholes. Happy every public holiday.

So much celebration and more going on

2006-12-27T06:00:00.000+08:00

There's just so much going on recently in my life, I feel it's like a whirlwind.

I can't say everything is good, but mostly good. Maybe some disguised good. Maybe.

I love this old song by Snow Patrol titled Run. It kicks ass 24/7. I think my new comp is fucked by some virus becuz of some movie I stupidly tried to download without checking it's seeders/comments on bitcomet.

It hasn't caused much trouble then, but my friends say it'll go from bad to worse.

Have some photos I wanna post it here, don't know why I wanna post it but I think it's because everyone's doing it.

FUCKING THING IS LOADING. Nevermind, meanwhile. I recently tried to log into Hi5 and wholivesnearyou, and in Hi5 i read a few of my old journal posts. I was pretty poetic then. But there's this one I read somewhere and couldn't remember the whole thing, but I'll try.

I wanted all things, to enjoy life. But I was given life, to enjoy all things.
I wanted the power to read people's thoughts. But I was given ears to listen.
I wanted good looks, so people could admire me. But I was given eyes, so I could admire beautiful things.

It's longer but that's all I can remember.

Anyhow, I remembered some things. I hate people who think they very smart and have very powerful acting skills, but the only people they can fool are fools. But eventually, they're the real fools themselves.

I really hate it. Don't come drama in my fucking face, pathetic loser. Low down fuck. There is no such thing as totally in control. I don't give a fuck whether or not I'll get retribution as I type this but it's an inevitable fact.

Okayyyy here comes the photo. It's a celebration of my classmates' birthday, yes plural, because 2 birthday boys on the exact same date. WEIRD HUH!! GAYYYYY

I decided to put only one photo this time because the loading shit is pissing me off.

I'm in a real dilemma whether or not to find a job or just slack my remaining days off. I think I should. Bye.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

I would like to wish a very merry christmas to all my fans out there!!

Thanks for supporting me all along and also buying my limited edition albums - 10000 copies - all gone!

And hey, don't forget to come to the events next few weeks to get your copies signed, the venues are shown on www.puchingmegastar.com

K, my last year's christmas wish. LOL, didn't fulfil it, have to use this.

The weather is cold.

People cold.

My hands cold.

Feelings cold.

Blanket cold, bed also cold.

Drinking water cold.

Cigarette cold, alchohol also cold.

Life very cold, hor.

Merry christmas to all my friends out there!!! Fans, too, if I have any !!!!!!!!11111111111

this is not a sad post

2006-11-21T02:13:00.000+08:00

So.. it didn't take me very long to realise I just cannot sleep.

I just went to see the new place today. on the way there, I couldn't help but feel that I'm entering into a very, very different phase of my life.

I mean, I should have felt that long ago. I should have seen this coming.

But I only felt it today. I don't like this page of my lifestory.

It rained heavily, and as my brother drove us there, every mile just felt harder and harder to enter. Yes, he was the one driving. But I cannot accept it. I cannot accept moving to a place I'm pretty sure I've never passed by more than 5 times.

And as we reached, I walked up four storeys to the flat. The staircase just looked so unreal. It looked just like in the movies. The horror movies with creepy staircase landings.

It wasn't bad when we entered though. I had to pick the room I want, so did my brother. Well, at least no arguments, we both picked different rooms.

And my mother brought many stuffs to pray. I kinda support that decision, even if it doesn't help, it helps us feel calm. At least much calmer than we would have without praying.

There was no electricity yet, and so it was raining, the house felt even creepier.

Well. At least I'll have my own room.

I don't want to sound like a spoilt kid who just can't adapt.

I can (adapt). I just am unwilling to do it. I entered the house and I kept whining about the walls, the toilets, the creepy parts of the house (e.g STOREROOM). But I whined jokingly.

All because it didn't matter that much to me. I have to live in that house. And at the same time I didn't want my mom to feel it's her fault we're under this struggle.

In fact, it isn't much of a struggle. There's a 7-11 right below my place. Well, the church is opposite, but it shouldn't make much of a difference. I haven't found out where the MRT is, but a bus stop is right outside my house.

Do I sound like I'm consoling myself?

Honestly, even I am unsure of it. I don't even bloody hell know if I'm consoling myself or that the house isn't too bad after all.

To be fair, I've to say I wanted a room of my own long, long ago. Everytime someone buys me a photoframe, or display item, I don't know what the fuck to do with it.

And now, I get to decide what colour of the room I want it to be, what kind of bedframes I want to use, where to put the computer, the tv, and how to make space for the wardrobe, and what am I gonna place in my room.

Does it sound weird? I never made such decisions in my life before.

I don't know how long will I take to get use to the house. But as it is planned, the we'll only be really moving in by late December or early January.

I don't know if I'm in the army by then. If so, it'll suck. It'll honestly suck.

For those of you who haven't been in the army ( I don't wanna sound like I ord-ed but this is how I feel), it feels so great to return home. So, so great.

For those of you who have been, I'm not sure if you appreciate the fact that you get to return to someplace so familiar to you when you book out.

I can't help but imagine the day when I book out, and slowly make my way home. Oh wait, new home. Can I use new "house" instead?

I'm afraid I don't even know how to get home then.

I'm pretty grateful though, I know quite a bunch of people living in that area. The serangoon-hougang-sengkang-punggol area.

Oh, there's a mall near my place. There's Kbox. But it isn't something to rejoice about. I don't go Kbox. But at least it's something familiar.

Things are different for my mother though. She loves the house, don't get me wrong, I'm glad she loves it.

I just.. have problems adapting, I suppose.

I really need a license now I feel, I'm living too far from where I usually go.

By the way last night, I was playing DotA with some friend's and their friends.

The whole incident can't be put in words, but I got scolded and one of my friend stood up for me and fucked the living daylights outta that fella.

It didn't matter much to me that I got scolded online myself, because it is, after all, online words, and I would pretty much insult him sacarstically(such a word?) on my own if I see him again(online or not).

But as it seemed last night, my friend couldn't take it and PWNED him. That guy just shut his balls up. I was pretty moved. Didn't expect all that, but I'm ultimately grateful. Don't know how to thank him though.

Btw, I was receiving comments on my weight issues(lol) from kristal's family. I mean, I already know that, and I don't want to push all the blame to beer, even though I had been drinking way too much.

Maybe I should do something about it(weight,not beer), if I manage to defer.

Btw, I'm not sad about the place, I'm just having puberty(still got time or not huh), and is normal to whine. This is not a sad post. (But is it a fucking sad post? LOL.)

sometimes the spirit just ain't enough

2006-11-10T16:12:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling pretty fucked these two days. Mainly it's because of the karaoke competition.

ok, to update, I entered the semi-finals, but got kicked out pretty much there. I've been visiting that place alot, mainly whenever it's my classmate's bday, we'll go there because it's much cheaper compared to many places.

Dap said she isn't sad, because she did her best. I'm so proud of her. In that very aspect, she is so much braver.

I'm the total opposite. I'm sad, because I did my best but landed at this spot. Like, my best is really only this level

I can't even win Kito. Is it because he was dressed like a superstar? I got the jacket too, you know. Mine's in brown.

See, two nights before the semi-finals, I went plasma with my classmates because it's chris' birthday.

I ran into Derrick there, he's one of the judges in the competition. As soon as I reached the place, he announced, "THE SINGER IS HERE, MAN!".

I remembered he said, among the rest of the contestants, he said he liked my tone the best.

So that night he asked , " The semi is in two days, how? Have you picked your song?"

I replied , "No, man, I'm fucking stressed, man."

He said, "Stressed for what? Just have fun, you know."

I was like, yeah, have fun. But "have fun" to me, has got nothing to do with joining a competition.

And so, I went back to join my classmates and drank merrily. Halfway throughout the night, he called me over. He said, " Hey man, among all the contestants I like your tone the best. So here, I've some tips for you."

I acted like I was so fucking honoured. Actually I was, but I exaggerated the expression, like the bitches who'd just win a beauty pageant.

And so he told me, in the first place, I should choose a song which I'm most familiar with. That way, I remember the lyrics and would not have to look into the screen, and so, Showmanship points +10000.

And then, he said, be precise with the pitching and song management. Don't drag the lyrics. With all these right, he'd be sure i'll make it into the grands.

But on the semi night itself, I screwed up. I don't know. I think I did my best.

I think i screwed up on the pitching part. I've never been able to precise my pitching. But I tried my best to memorize the lyrics, and I'm damn sure i did not drag the lyrics.

Probably I was a bit too drunk to really concentrate on the pitching. But it seemed perfect to me. Even my friends(i know i say friends) loved it.

And so, when they released the results, and I didn't hear my name. I was utterly disappointed. I actually comtemplated joining Jones' school. Btw Jones is Shi Kang Jun , the fucking snob.

But then again, I thought, If i were to join a school, it'd be the ones that signed Stefanie Sun, and not a school with no hope of helping anyone at all.

Anyway, I was feeling so fucked today. I reached school with no intention of studying at all. I sat down in class, and stared into blank, and as usual cracking silly jokes.

And as usual, this fucker with no sense of humour what-so-ever, added comments and I was pissed I went "cheebye not talking to you la".

And he know I was pretty hostile with what I just said and went zippers.

Half an hour later, I found out that it's his birthday today.

WHAT THE FUCK !

I just screwed up someone's birthday. Ha ha.

I don't know, but it really irritates the shit outta me(like laxatives) when he adds stuffs to what I say.

Ok to help people know what I'm talking about.

Me : Hey why out of a sudden you all so garang? (it was meant for HY and Danny as they're sitting nearer to me)

BB(birthday boy): Then ? Like you ah?

Me : Cheebye la, not talking to you la.

Ok I know. He meant it as a joke. But usually a joke goes, " Of cuzzz!!! We not like you one, we aim to pass"

Or probably something to that effect. Usually if he adds stuffs, I'll just go talk to someone else.

Well, say it's an excuse, but I'm feeling fucked. too bad.

Anyway, for november, I'm a poor bastard. Including this BB, there are so many more bdays.

Kris, SYS, Chris, Jwong. That's five in total.

And i'm pretty sad I have to choose between 3 events this saturday, tomorrow.

My campmates asked me out to drink, as it's their last exercise. Si Wei promised to treat me drink, along with the others, and he decided it to be this saturday, planned with everyone else already. And SYS BIRTHDAY ! TOMORROW!

SYS bday is a dinner. But i'm a cb if I don't join them for latenight, but then again, I don't know if they are doing any latenight. And I promised my campmates pretty long ago to go drink with them already. And I mistook when Si Wei said Saturday for Wednesday.

Kris bday is next week, HENG ah.

I actually intended to type an hour's long entry but I've only spent half an hour. So my sadshit isn't that bad, huh? Only take 20 minutes to make up.

Oh, btw, the title. After they released the results, Derrick said to me, "Although you didn't get in, man, I warned you about the pitching, man. But i'm proud of you. Your spirit is there."

It didn't help, buddy. It didn't. Spirit cannot get into grand, then got spirit for what? I want to take it out and step on the floor ah!

The other contestants no spirit at all, can ya-ya walk around like star. We young people with spirit, got what use? also let people laugh at us.

I'm really pondering about going to watch the grand finals. Like what for? There's just no point. No. Fucking. Point. It's on a wednesday somemore. I burned two thursday lessons for the cb competition already.

I daren't sing in public anymore. I really dare not. The applause that night, other than my friends, they're all fake. Especially cheebye motherfucker Russell's table.

In retrospect I should have expected I couldn't get in. Because the first time I sang, Derrick and the other Judges applauded. this time, they just looked into their papers.

the after-party, when I sang Zhu Jun Hao, russell offered to sing with me. MORE LIKE SNATCHING TO SING. Anyway, he did better. I don't know, I just couldn't speak/sing/use my fucking mouth anymore that night. I know I can do better than him, if I want to.

But then again, I think I know. I don't truly "KNOW" anymore. Fuck plasma.

was celebratin ken's bday

2006-10-27T15:33:00.000+08:00

Yeah we were celebratin ken's bday 2 days ago. We began in discussion, 8 jugs. Very mild right, for 6 people. And then we went to Plasma.

3 bottles martell, for 8 people. All of us were so fucking wasted. The whole group became rowdy by closing time. I was thinking could it be a habit because we're all too used to shouting freely in queenstown.

Nevermind that. I've been drinking too much recently, the hangovers i get extend drastically. Usually I would be ok once I get up and have a warm drink and some food.

Then recently, I was feeling like shit for half the day after drinking.

And yesterday, I couldn't eat/drink properly for almost a full day.

I get bodyaches. Really really bad ones.

So.. I'm joining this karaoke competition.. and I have been pulling strings with the lady boss ALOT.

But it won't work, the judges are from another organisation. So.. I've been practising a little. I haven't practised in my life. I usually just sing for fun, but this time, I sing the song i intend to compete with many times.

I hope i can get into at least the grand finals, doesn't matter if i lose. But join already, never get into grand finals, so paiseh.

What about my exams?

Oh, if i haven't said, I received my lettter from CMPB and the DEADline is.. 08 dec.

SWALLOW THAT.

I was at a loss the day I received it. Not that I'm afraid to enter. But how am I going to complete my school?

Sometimes I think the CMPB is fucking me up too badly. I really need that cert.

It is that piece of paper, that will help me fight the people in future. It is that piece of paper that allow me feel competent to the people in my life who are ahead of me.

It is that piece of paper, that fucking piece of paper that made me knew so many friends and worked so hard every last 2 weeks of a month.

Sigh. CMPB. Sigh.

Photos.

2006-10-25T15:57:00.000+08:00

Erm. I was thinking my blog was lacking of colours. So.. That's my bro, when he still had long hair, and in my opinion, very good looking.
That's me, with daph testing out my camm on da phone.
Me, the lightning speed fingers on his work.
Me, the Iron Chef.
Me, with CITY

Me, prawning pro.
My classmates, fucks.

1, 2 , 3 , 4 , 5.

2006-10-25T15:46:00.000+08:00

Is something wrong with me? Yesterday, I woke up at about 4pm, and I was so purely happy, I couldn't stop smiling to myself.

See, I woke up, and I walked to the computer and sat down. I turned on some songs, and I couldn't help turning the volume higher, so that when I brush my teeth I can hear the song.

And then I went to meet a few friends at parklane. I wore my old nike shoes. I haven't wore them out for at least a year. Is there something wrong with me?

When I met them, I kept talking and joking non-stop. I haven't been like this for at least a year.

And I insisted on having good food, so we went to have some good food. We ordered Sesame Chicken, sambal kang kong, ginger and onion fried chicken, and tom yam soup.

Come to think of it, it is reaaaaallllyyy cheap, we only had to pay $6 per person.

And we had some beer and some games until late at night.

And at night.. as I was walking home.. I was thinking. How did I become so purely happy, like happy at absolutely nothing?

I suddenly thought of the happenings about a year and a half ago, about going out everyday and not worrying about anything.

I realised, it is the exact same feeling as then.

It is possible to have the same feelings, without having the same happenings.

Anyway, some stuff I really wanna note down.

I'm pretty glad to have met some of the really significant people in my life previously, especially after not seeing them for so long, particularly my secondary school mates.

I gave City a big hug when i saw her.

Time FLIES .

Remember her ?

2006-10-09T15:57:00.000+08:00

Okay. Some of you might find this post familiar, esp Jack. http://puching.blogspot.com/2005/08/fuck-you-swindlers.html

See, I was, as usual, playing number ball with my classmates after class today. The air-con was spoilt and we had to play like we're playing badminton indoor. We sweated like cold oranges and we're all pissed with the motherfucking weather.

Anyway, I was so pissed, I wanted to take a cab home, when Kenneth said he'll be using ECP to work and could give me a ride. I'm really grateful for that, because he did me that favour despite me having not returned him the money i owe him yet.

And so, for his convenience, I told him to put me down at Bugis and I'll walk home, so he would not have to make a big turn.

Now, he dropped me at Rochor and I walked home from there.

As I was heading towards Sim Lim Sq, I had to use the traffic lights at the junction between OG and Sim Lim.

Yes, Jackson, It's her. Yes, Jackson, the porridge. Yes, Jackson, $10 from me and $10 from you.

Yes, you guessed it, I saw said DGL in the previous post. This time, she said, "Hey, can you speak chinese?" in chinese again.

Upon recognising her, I immediately frowned and stared at her for a few seconds.

I mean, I was already pissed enough with the damn weather, worried about my supp paper's dates, BROKE LIKE A BITCH, and she dared approached me again.

I immediately walked pass her as if she didn't exist.

I can't be sure she's a swindler. But she definitely has wrong speaking ethics. If she had persisted I would probably give her a TIGHT SLAP across the cheeks, say, maybe 20 times, and make her kneel down and pray to me like I'm some deity, then attempt to bow when I give another kick to her forehead resulting in her returning me the porridge money I lent her 1 YEAR AND 1 MONTH AGO.

.
Saying that makes me feel time really flies.
.

Don't try to con a broke guy who have not slept for 18 hours and just lost money at number ball, being worried that he might have missed his supp paper's IN A BLOODY WARM SUNNY day.

This is the saddest day of my life.

2006-10-04T19:57:00.000+08:00

i woke up 2pm today, feeling tired and all. then, I went to use the comp, surfing the net and playing dota.

My friend Peh, then sms-ed me and said Japan should msot probably win H/H tonight. Upon reading the sms, i recalled today is wednesday and I decided to giv the 4D a whack.

I whack $20 H/H on Japan. And I buy the usual numbers I keep buying recently -- 2965 and 4338.

Out of a sudden, I recalled my mom saying she dreamt of the numbers 2727.

So I gave that a whack too. When I entered the slips, 2727 was sold out.
Initially I thought of calling my friends to help me buy.

Then, I thought, since it's sold out it probably means the number won't open. SgPools won't wanna lose money to that many people.

Then I told my mom the numbers were sold out. She said nvm lor, buy Toto for friday better.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Now go check the results for 04/10/06 - 4D.

Have I told you lately

2006-09-30T07:14:00.000+08:00

Huh?

Ok the title's a song that i wanted to download a long time ago, but always forgot about it.

I'm listening to it now, though it sounds old and cheesy and corny and all, but i love it.

It's by Rod Stewart, by the freaking way.

I just came back from a prawning session again, this time i didn't bring the prawns home. And this time, I didn't do much of the prawning because i enjoyed talking cock more, rather than concentrating on prawning.

I had been wanting to type this down lately, but I sorta felt i should still be reserved with my posts.

But then, I don't giv a flying fuck. So here goes.

See, actually I felt sad, but not VERY sad that my grandpa's in the hospital.

I didn't know what and why and how did I think of it, but I recall an incident that happened more than a year ago.

There was once, my grandpa and my mom quarrelled and my grandpa slapped my mom in the cheek, and pushed her down. My mom was angry and left the house. My uncle came home and spoke to my grandpa and help settle things down. My uncle's THE MAN.

Anyway, about 2 days later, grandpa passed me a brochure of SK jewellery, and told me to pick one that I think mom might like. I asked him why did he want me to pick a set for mom?

He just said that Mom's birthday is coming. Not as if I don't remember her birthday, so I reminded him that mom's birthday is in August. And he actually told me, "Oh, it's the chinese one", passing off knowing that I don't know nuts about chinese dates.

And then I picked a nice set of earrings(or pendant, I can't remember), embedded with colour stones, and reasonably cheap. They looked pretty.

And then, 2 days later, he gave the set I picked for mom. I was then, wondering who did he go with to buy them. I checked with my brother, and found out that grandpa might actually have went alone.

And yes, indeed he went alone. Just to get a set of jewellery for mama. And when mom received the present, she asked what is it for.

He then said , it's for her chinese birthday. Mom then said, "No lah, it's not my chinese birthday."

Gong gong just said something like , "never mind lah, bought already."

it was only then, that I realised gong gong actually bought them as apology for mom.

Upon recalling that incident, I almost teared. He wasn't very much healthy at that period of time. Of course, he was much healthier than now, but at that time, signs of him having dementia already shown, and his legs were wobbly whenever he had to use the stairs. The fact that he went all the way to PS alone to get a gift for my mom as apology really made me moved.

I so so so so wish that he's well. I really hate to miss him.

Then now, moving the topic on to me. I'm really guilty that I only realise how much I love him only now, when he is in the hospital, unhealthy and weak. And why do I only feel sad enough, when I recall that incident?

I don't know what can I do for him now.

He used to give me money whenever I had not enough money to go out. And everytime before I go out, he'd ask me if i have shilings( coins/small change), in case I have to take the bus or any other type of public transport.

In the past, if I had no money, I could always depend on him.

I remember, there was this once, he bought me this shirt. It look super obiang to many people.

But I wore it nice and cool, i remember at that time Raymond actually told me, "hey it looks not bad what."

If any of you remember, it's the white shirt with black stars. It isn't expensive, but I don't even buy him presents, except for when I was in secondary 2, i bought him a cigarette box. He was so happy about it, he BUY 4D COZ I BUY PRESENT FOR HIM.

Sa gor jio Part TOO?

2006-09-28T13:33:00.000+08:00

Hey, sup.

See, I went to the hospital to visit my grandad again the other day. I was curious to how and why would he talk about Sa gor jio. And as me and mama were with him, he asked again, "You moved to Sa gor jio already, right?" in teochew dialect. Or hokkien, I can't differentiate.

Anyway, my mom, knowing he is, as usual, talking things that don't make sense, and just nodded to everything he said. Then I asked, "Gong gong, where is Sa gor jio?"

Guess what he said.

He looked in my eyes and he said," You forget already ah? I saw you there the other time, you forget already?"

I was so bloody freaked out, these tears gathered up at the drains in my eyes.

Nevermind that, because after awhile i managed to convinced myself that he is just talking nonsense.

A few days later, I visit my grand-uncle's funeral. Yes, sadly he passed away already.

At the funeral, my mom told me that one of my aunts told her that before grand-uncle passed away, he said he wanted to go to Si Gor Jio to meet up with his friends already.

this freaked me out even more. Si Gor Jio, as directly linked to Sa Gor Jio, meant Four Milestones.

If Gong gong saw me there...

Am I ..

dying soon?

Mama wants me to wear some "fou pai".

I felt, if it's time, it is time.

Ghastly

2006-09-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

I had no intention of bloggin, till I spoke with mama in the car an hour and a half ago.

Ok, sidetrack. This funny conversation with a friend lol.

krissiebum says:
18/f/east
krissiebum says:
u?
TAKE ME OUT says:
18/m/central/very big large and juicy
krissiebum says:
juicy?
TAKE ME OUT says:
u have webcam ?
krissiebum says:
u plant water melons at home>
krissiebum says:
ya
TAKE ME OUT says:
wanna cyber
krissiebum says:
u?
krissiebum says:
ok
krissiebum says:
haha
krissiebum says:
i really hv la
TAKE ME OUT says:
i go change into my leopard thongs first
krissiebum says:
u hv?
krissiebum says:
haha
krissiebum says:
i like leopard thongs
TAKE ME OUT says:
back
TAKE ME OUT says:
i lost the leopard's at my aunt's place
krissiebum says:
wow
TAKE ME OUT says:
i use elephant
krissiebum says:
tahts fast
krissiebum says:
i like the wild
TAKE ME OUT says:
great
TAKE ME OUT says:
do u have cherry strawberry
krissiebum says:
u bet
krissiebum says:
juicy ones
TAKE ME OUT says:
great
TAKE ME OUT says:
let's meet up
krissiebum says:
cyber!
krissiebum says:
where?
TAKE ME OUT says:
let's go for excitement.
TAKE ME OUT says:
far east plaza staircase
TAKE ME OUT says:
level 2
TAKE ME OUT says:
staircase C
TAKE ME OUT says:
i'll be wearing black polo tee and a dark jeans
TAKE ME OUT says:
and a NY cap
TAKE ME OUT says:
u?
krissiebum says:
far east is so far
krissiebum says:
but well
krissiebum says:
ok,i dun mind
krissiebum says:
i'll be in black heels,jeans and tube
krissiebum says:
long curly black hair

I was LAUGHING so hard i couldn't continue the crap talk.

Ok to move on. I was talking to my mom in the car. Ok see, i'm moving soon, to Hougang area. My mom bought the place cuz it's cheap and reasonably big, and at Hougang, it's on the same MRT line, and also near my aunt's place. Hougang !!

At the very same time, my grandpa is in the hospital. He's fairly healthy now, except for the common illness old people have. So when we're in the car, on the way to the hospital, my mom told me what happened on the day she viewed the flat and paid the deposit for it.

After she had seen the flat, she went home to take a shower, being happy and all for getting that flat at such a cheap price. And as she finished with her shower, she realised she had forgot to visit my grandpa. And so, she went down to visit grandpa, along with my brother.

Note that my mom bought the flat the same day, and went down at the same time as my brother. And when they reached the hospital, My mom asked how was my grandpa, if he had eaten, but did not tell him anything about the flat. Next, grandpa held my brother's hand, and said ,

"You are moving to Sa Gor Jio(sry if i spelled wrongly) ah ? Gong gong come and stay with you ok?"

directly translated, sa gor jio means 3 mile stones. Ever since my grandpa became ill, he also had mild dementia, and it's hard to have an intellectual conversation with him. He doesn't know what's happening most of the time. He think's he's 100 y/o when he's only 76. by the way, note the blue words.

My mom and bro had no idea what Sa Gor Jio meant. And so, they left the hospital after the chat with my grandpa. 2 days later, mom asked my aunt where Sa Gor Jio is.

You guessed it, Hougang.

Freaked out? Same here. More to come.

Ok now. Remember I said note the blue words. My mom was telling me the story. The exact same story as above. But when she continued, the story at the part where the blue words are , Sa Gor Jio, a lorry banged into my mom's side mirror, and spoiled it. We settled the matter quite quick.

It freaked me out. When i thought of it.

My mom had another scary happening in the hospital. But i'm lazy to say. It isn't related and i'm afraid my friends die of heart attack, so there. Enough to freak your nuts out.

in the midnight hour

2006-09-09T08:24:00.000+08:00

New. Record. 30+ prawns.

So happy some ahpek taught us tips. The tips so useful, immediately after we learn the tips, we become like pro, every 2-3 minutes catch 1 prawn for awhile.

Mama can have prawn feast !

I got very little cash now leh. Need part time job. Haven't done a wishlist in a while. Shall do it now.

- Repair computer, it's so fucked, I dare not switch it off.

- Get a fucking new phone, after I lose my DOPOD 838.

- Get a PSP, I'm always so fuckin bored on the train/bus.

- Go for a holiday, a beachy 1.

- GO ON MORE PRAWNING SESSIONS

- Go drinking still.

- Go shopping.

- Spend money.

- Spend money.

- SPEND MUTHAFUGGIN MONEY.

Prawning

2006-09-08T08:27:00.000+08:00

I have a new found hobby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sounded stupid becuz this hobby seemed stupid to me in the past, but it isn't now.

My new hobbie is to go prawn fishing. I caught 1 this morning, and 2 yesterday. I KNOW LA, FUCKING WEAK. But we share rod ma, cuz most of us noob.

Altogether, we got 9 prawns and they are all in my freezer. As my friends should know, I can't eat seafood and especially prawns. So as a natural tendency, I hate them to the fucken core. And so, I zhe mo (torture) them alot when I fish them out. I'll get a knife to chop their hands (or legs) out.

This morning, we manage to convince the rest of the classmates to join us to go prawning. HAHA SOUNDS LIKE PAWNING. And so we went, I actually only liked the sport since yesterday becuz I caught 2 , and it's hell addictive. But the rest of the classmates caught NONE, and I doubt they will like the activity anytime soon.

I wanna check on what's the correct logic to fish for the prawns. I don't get it.

They bite a few bites then u think u caught them, but when u pull up, they're gone. So the right thing to do is to lower down, pull up, lower down, pull up until u feel they secure on the hook, then pull up.

But u lower down, won't u give them chance to run away ?

Anyway, like before, I'm hooked to watching Rockstar:Supernova. In the past was Rockstar:INXS.

This season, I'm supporting Storm Large and Toby Rand. But Storm got kicked out last night, I'm quite sad. I know she won't win, but if Supernova is to choose a girl, I really want Storm to be the one.

She's fucken hot, she's rock and all. I used to support Ryan Star but I agree with Supernova, he'll hit it even better being a solo artiste.

Anyway, I shall talk about an incident which made me lost all my respect for this friend. Let's call him Argh.

See, Argh is a new friend we all only knew recently that joined us for say, a week, or maybe 5 days. But on the day this incident happened, was only my second time seeing him, because the previous days I skipped school.

I was buying drinks for another friend, let's call him Hmmm, and Hmmm wanted Kopi-o Kosong. So Argh said he'll go with me.

And as I was telling the auntie, "Auntie Kopi-O Kosong" and also our orders, Argh said, "Actually don't have to say Kopi-O Kosong what, since Kosong means don't add any other stuff, can juz say Kopi Kosong."

I agreed, and said something like, "Yah hor, if kosong means don't add any other stuff."

So as I went back to the table, I asked my friend, "Why cannot say Kopi kosong, must Kopi-O kosong?"

Hmmm said "Kosong means no sugar, not don't add anything, very noob leh you."

And the whole group jumped at the chance to make fun of me, something like, "Ya la, puching noob la, haha."

Don't get me wrong here, I handle jokes fucking well.

And at this moment, Argh said , "Ya, fucking noob." WITHOUT HA HA. That will mean he did not mean it as a joke.

At that very second I turned at look at him. I couldn't sense any hint of any intention to make a joke, in other words, he actually meant it. And as soon as I turned to look at him, he turned away.

I'm not being over-sensitive here, seriously, the tone and body language make up more than 90% of a person's intention.

And this thoughts came into my mind. Had he thought that the group wasn't just making fun of me for fun, and that they wanted to insult me?

Or had he just wanted to join the group desperately?

Had he thought I wasn't close with my friends enough, and didn't give a fuck if I realised that he's such a person, as long as he gets to be close with them?

But anyways, at that very moment, I lost all my respect for that fella. No doubt, we're still friends, but dont' have a single ounce of respect for that guy at all.

tired liao, ciaooo

It's in the air we breathe tonight

2006-09-05T06:48:00.002+08:00

Okayyyy. September already.

These weeks I've been inviting my classmates over to my place to play mahjong/poker, study and all that.

Everytime after we meet up, and when we return home, I get this feeling. I wonder why did I dislike them in the past. I have no idea now. It feels weird to have your feelings lost.

Well, feelings as in, your emotions felt at said time.

Anyway, 1 of my classmates, Chris, the very first one i spoke to since i entered MDIS, fell in love lately. It's amazing from a guy like him. Usually we only see the playful and punk guy, and full of crazy shit-ass jokes, and I don't know but, anyone who don't really know him well might feel he is an angry guy. Like generally ANGRY guy.

Not that he isn't. But it happened so, the girl he fell in love with actually was in Singapore only for a month. And he only knew her four days before she left. In other words, he only knew her for four days.

Guess what, it's like most love novels. He is so madly in love with that girl, he wants to fly in to UK at the end of this year. Everyone knows how much an air ticket to UK cost. The rest of us thought that he's mad.

I won't give in that much to a moment of affection. A $2000 air ticket, that might take me more than a few months to save up, it is just too much to struggle with. Some might say he is courageous, some think he is just plain stupid.

What I think? Logically, I think he is already 24 years old this year, and must have known better. I mean talking to him previously, I understand that he had many relationships. And for a person like that, mature enough, to actually put in that much for a person he had only seen for 4 days, I'm just outta words.

Can that 4 days worth of affection really drive a person like Chris all that far? He's already borrowed money from his friend for the ticket.

For me, a 4 day old relationship, I can barely tell if it's just infatuation yet.

Okay, to move on. I lost reaching $100 in total gamblings just these 2 weeks. Not that I'm not convinced enough that I'm really suay this year, but like most say, "seng chu bee chu bee nia".

Which loosely translates to playing for fun only.

Lately I get a stir of emotions again. I just, in the dark of the night, can't watch TV anymore and decide to sit at my sofa, lighting up a cigarette and think.

I think of the days I spent in the beach. I thought of the beautiful private beach. Then I thought of the obviously-wanna-cheat-ang-mohs chinese restaurant opposite our resort. Then I thought of the really ugly lounge with a really lousy pool table that accepts only tokens which can be changed from the counter.

I thought of the song Bad Day. I thought of the moments we rode on the jet-ski. I thought of the banana boat, and the Para-Sailing I went. I thought of the late morning slacking in the hotel room and watch MTV.

I thought of the moment I lay alone in the sun when the rest were in their rooms resting.

I thought of my Thailand trip. I thought of the many places we went to shop.

I thought of my short army days. I thought of the times when I leaned against the wall when it was raining. I was sleeping under the fan, and my mates knew it was my favourite spot and let me have it. I thought of the ultra-cold auditorium where I always slept without any Sgt noticing.

I thought of how I always bargained with my PS to let me smoke if I performed well in the foot-drills or trainings. I thought the way out of the building when it was book-out day.

And many others, but those were the initial ones that actually began stirring me before I actually realised. I had so much worth of wonderful memories.

And now I think, life is always like this. You never like the moment when you're in something, but you bloody-hell miss the times when you're so fucking over them. I'm looking forward to what will come next.

I wonder what will come next, and what will I miss in future.

Your classic campus life.

2006-08-17T22:53:00.000+08:00

Now guys, I know, I don't talk about life in campus often. It isn't weird, for I don't have much to talk about. Let me talk about my daily routine in school. Before.

9.00am: Just reached school, buy a cuppa coffee and sit down.

9.01am: Call other classmates, ask where are they.

9.03 - 9.08am: Classmates reach, order food and have breakfast.

9.12am: Have breakfast, talk cock and silly jokes.

9.32am: Finished breakfast, head out for a smoke.

9.45am: Finished smoking but were at a funny topic so continued chatting.

10.00am: Head to classroom.

10.05 - 10.29am: Talk crap in classroom, at intervals giving lecturer minimal amount of respect by listening.

10.30am: Lecturer announces break-time.

10.31am: Head out for break.

10.32am: Decides with classmates that class is boring.

10.33am: Heads back to classroom to take bags.

10.34am: Head to Queenstown for billiards.

SCHOOL IS SUPPOSED TO END AT 12. LOL.

Now, this sounds like your classic campus life. If you think this is EXCITING, you can go suck cock. Wanna know why. Read on.

This current module, we have a lecturer that is especially strict on attendance. So, we all have to stay in class from 9 - 12.

Today, I arrived early. 8.55am.

I went to the toilet, washed up a lil, and head to class. 9.00am.

NONE OF MY FRIENDS ARRIVED YET.

So I sat down and made a few calls. Nevermind that. They said they were on the way, so I just sat and stared at the table.

Now this next paragraph is gonna blow you away.

As I was staring at the blank desk, I heard "GET OUT !"

I didn't know what happened. I looked up. And there, I saw a classmate shouting at our lecturer.

Classmate: GET OUT !!

Lecturer dumbfounded. Stares at our classmate blindly.

Classmate: IN THE NAME OF JESUS !! GET OUT !!

Lecturer shocked. Whole class too.

Classmate: GET OUT!! GET OUT NOW!! IN THE NAME OF JESUS !!

Lecturer says to the rest of the class : Someone please go call security. Now.

No one did anything.

Classmate: BURN IN FIRE !!!!!! IN THE NAME OF JESUS !!!!

Lecturer: FASTER !

Classmate returns to his seat, packs his bag and runs out of the class. Lecturer chases.

And the class starting chatting as if nothing happened, except that the topic was about that classmate now.

Yes. That guy YELLED. No exaggeration at all in the dialogue.

Now, your classic campus life.

Down with fevar !!

2006-08-16T18:37:00.000+08:00

Sometime since I had a fever. Doesn't feel bad, cuz it makes me wanna rest. I usually just can't rest so today i'm slacking on the bed all day.

so yesterday, i had a long walk along orchard road and went shopping for my brother's presents. Note that it is in plural form. I'm not gunna giv him till the actual celebration day. I think it will wow him away. I spent like 4 - 5 hours getting all the presents.

I lost my phone. some people tell me it's just a phone.

but it's all i ever had. i still cannot get over it. i hope the fella who stole the phone dies from hunger.

Fighting for your rights.

2006-08-08T21:04:00.001+08:00

In my life, I have always insisted for fighting for my own rights. Be it in school, be it in coffeeshops, be it in buses, be it anywhere, I have always fought for my own rights.

Take for instance, in school, when the teachers obviously were against me at ANYTHING i do, I didn't give a flying fuck. I, instead, talked back, argued, quarrelled, shouted. I got into trouble, my mother had to come down to talk to the principal and I was given a caning.

The day of the caning, I sure most of my friends heard about this. It wasn't fair at all. They just passed a survey through the whole class without letting me see it at all, and without letting me talk anymore.

And they just decided to give me a caning, whether I'm right or wrong. The principal, discipline mistress, my form teacher, and some other random staff entered our classroom and gave me a public caning. I was in secondary 1 then, and to many people, being caned that young, is utterly NOTORIOUS.

Well, again, I couldn't give a flying fuck. I just went ahead with the caning. Thoughts were : fine, go ahead and fucking cane me. That's doesn't prove you're right, bitchface.

I know, at this point, many might think for fighting for my own rights, it just wasn't worth the practice. Read on.

After the caning, my feelings were already screwed up, I was still angry, both at myself(for being so suay) and at the mothafuckin teachers.

And guess what?

2 of my classmates, whom I wasn't very close at all at that time(to specify, 2 girls, 1 very pretty) , came to me and said words that almost made me tear(as in cry without sound).

They said," Shermen, we still believe you didn't do it." (Eh, apparently now, I was accused for something I didn't fucking do)

I was overwhelmed.

I had wanted to tell them "Thank you." But I wasn't brave enough. YES, I wasn't brave enough to thank them anymore after the whole incident. I was afraid I might just tear. If I teared, I'm not the Metal Guy ( Tie Han, in chinese, haha) I'm supposed to be, after all that caning.

That is just one of the MANY incidents where I had insisted on fighting for my own rights.

This post is dedicated to my brother, who had been taken advantage over in camp, and also to others, who had no courage for themselves. Don't let bastards have their ways.

I do NOT feel sorry for him. In fact, I feel angry for him. He had let them do things to him without fighting back.

It's okay if you had been taken advantaged over and you fought back, losing.

It isn't, when you :

Let them do what they want
Listen to them
Do things for them
and NOT FIGHTING BACK

By fighting back, I don't mean literally pull punches.

In my way of fighting back, (don't mind me, but i'm really cunning when it comes to such stuff) I fight them with their dignity, and stupidity.

If my life, I'LL NEVER GET BULLIED WITHOUT FIGHTING BACK.

I know he's never afraid of fighting back before. I know he isn't now.

He just hasn't done anything yet.

2006-08-08T21:04:00.000+08:00

ALOT OF EFFORT !

2006-08-05T21:48:00.000+08:00

What is bad to worse?

I feel my daily programmes are getting from bad to worse. I drink, I skip classes, I play billiards every day after school, well, sometimes during the time i'm supposed to be in school, I do so many stuffs that I love to do but hate to do.

I used to hate going school a lot. Not that I love going to school now, but I hated to see my classmates. I used to think they're all evil. I used to dislike them, even though we're friends.

I don't know how I could get those feelings, but it is only since the previous semester that I realised how important and fun they are. I would feel stupid not to go school because I will not have anything to do at home if I don't. I'd rather go to school and wait for the break to go play billiards till evening.

This events had been giving me some serious food for thought.

I sort of regretted hating them before(well they didn't know i hate them). I didn't know why I hated them either. I regretted not hanging out with them more before, now they all talk about previous months events/outings that I could have been there, but rejected.

I kind of felt that I should really now, cherish the things with me.

By the way, as I was saying, what is bad to worse?

I used to want to go drinking, play billiards and all, but now, even though I do these so muthafuckin frequent, I want to stop.

When I WANTED to go do these stuffs, I actually sorta thought "life would be good if it had been like that".

But now, I feel that I'm really irresponsible, spending money so quickly.

Oh, as a note, I ACTUALLY OVERSLEPT ON MY EXAM DAY.

I put in so much fucking effort in that paper, even my classmates could see it.

The moment they realised I actually overslept and missed that paper, they actually said "KNN, you study until so jialat, you overslept??".

Yes, when I missed papers previously, they all said "You're gonna fail anyway, why bother?".

Put them in comparison and you really see a big contrast.

Anyway, I haven't updated for such a long time. The actual reason is because: I'm fucking ashamed to.

Anyway can tell me why? Please leave them in the comments.

And so now, I'm going drinking. WOOOOT

i finally understand what it's all about

2006-06-21T10:03:00.000+08:00

do you ?

cheesy old time lines.

i battle them.

It's time.

2006-06-14T01:05:00.000+08:00

i've decided that it really is time for me to kill people. it might sound really insane.

becos i'm joking.

i've decided that it really is time for me to start killing. I'll kill everything that comes in my fucken way. Be it techies, spectre, centaur, or even ichigo or rukia.

I actually meant it's time for me to kill the laze. It's a kinda special reiatsu around me. It's a bad kind, it makes me not want to work hard. It's easy to kill it becos i finally realise it's around me. I couldn't do a thing to it before because i couldn't find it. Now that I've found out the way it works, i'll kill it.

I will unleash my shikai and bankai of my zanpakutoh, Yamateryuugenshindohideyozosaki. And Yamateryuugenshindohideyozosaki taught me how to use his powers, there are 101 of them. I learnt 2. 1 of them is Soudouzikenshidosa Danishindohaken. It is a massive shot of 10000 human babies. Yes, to kill. Kill...

I'll do it now.

As the saying goes, it is only able for something to sky-rocket when it reaches rock-bottom.

how many times in your life?

2006-05-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

how many times in your life, did u hear ur dad telling u to tell ur mom to take the alimony from ur claimed insurance sum?

how many times in your life, did u hear ur mom tell u she's bringing ur dad to court after u tell her what ur dad told u?

how many times in your life did ur dad think that it is u who told ur mom to bring him to court, and walk away from u?

how many times in your life did ur friends, good or better, fuck u up and make u think u're not needed?

how many times in your life did no one bother listening to ur problems, or rather "crap" as they think it is?

how many fucking times in your life did u even think of killing urself?

how many times in your life did u hate urself?

how many times in life did people tell u, u're fake?

how many times in life can u even feel sad for urself?

how many times in life can u remind urself to be strong and only end up looking at the wall and say "fuck this world"?

how many times in life did u wish u weren't born at all?

how many times in life did u feel the people whom u trusted aren't worth it after all?

and now, how many times, are u afraid of meeting people?

2006-05-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

NO TITLE!!!

2006-04-20T22:33:00.001+08:00

I didn't write for quite sometime again.

Recently, bad things keep building up. Im lazy to read my previous posts, so i'll just say whatever comes into mind, whether i've said them before or not.

well, many of those fortune tellers, the chinese zodiac readings, the english horoscopes, all say it is a very bad year for me. initially, it was still quite okay. until things build up, and now my mind is very very very saturated. i almost can't think.

recently, my grandpa fell down in the market and fainted. as reported, he had a seizure.

so.... he went for an androgram (if that's how u spell it, but that's how u pronounce it). it's actually a study of the vessels in his heart.

so.... u can say he's both lucky and unlucky. many of his vessels are clogged up, mostly partially. but at the same time, other tiny vessels grow from his heart to help pump the blood. unfortunately, these tiny vessels only can help for sometime.

then my doctor uncle explained to my family. he said, my grandpa can still go for an op. but it is very high risk, and high chances are that his kidney will fail upon the operation. which will mean, if he goes for the operation, he will have to go for dialysis everyday.

what's the point ?

and so... my uncle decided to let him survive on medication, which doesn't cure his situation, but slow down the clogging of the vessels. my mom said it is actually like a time bomb.

a very indefinite timebomb, which has no preset timing.

and many thoughts came into my mind. It was only a few years ago my grandpa could still cook, and talk as per normal.

nowadays, he speaks as if he forgets everything. he becomes very confused. he doesn't cook.

that means, i've been eating from the hawker centre everyday. and i am only limited to what my maid can buy. she can only buy chicken rice.

unless i choose to go downstairs and eat myself.

sometimes i really really hope i have a nice home-cooked meal. with some vege, some meat, some fish.

i been to a few friends' houses for dinner before. i really do not mind a simple fare.

i don't wanna eat the kinda food i eat now. i don't.

and as i was saying, i just remembered, how healthy he had been a few years ago. now, he is forgetful, easily tired, weak.

the day he discharged from the hospital, i went over to help. my doctor uncle wants him to stay in their house for awhile.

and as i saw how he struggled,even with the help of 2 maids, from the gates, up the stairs, and into the house, my heart really hurt.

how come in just a few years, he can turn this weak. life is just so... fragile.

i suddenly remembered, how i loved the snack he made. he used to make croquettes (again, if that's how u spell it).

it is actually a flour potatoe snack, and he will put chicken meat inside. i loved that snack alot and he made it for a few weeks. after that i never got to taste it again. he probably forgot i like that snack, or he probably forgot how to make it.

my uncle actually calls me alot nowadays to find out about my grandpa's situation. I understand how he feels. he wants to know my grandpa's situation alot, but my grandpa does not have his own phone.

and now that my grandpa is so forgetful and confused, my uncle probably find it hard to have a normal conversation with him. and even worse, the case now is that my grandpa is staying over at harlyn house.

and my uncle is not on talking terms with that harlyn's houses people.

and my uncle probably finds it hard to call their house to talk to my grandpa. so my uncle can only wait for me to go over to the harlyn house, so he can call me and i can pass the phone to my grandpa.

my uncle is very worried. i know how hard is it, to be worried for a loved one, and not being to see them. even worse now, having difficulty to speak to them.

I suddenly remembered again, on the day my grandpa discharged, while my grandpa was preparing to change into his new clothes, he actually lost control of his bowels and actually passed motion on the spot.

i wonder how is he doing now, he probably will be happier, because the little kids there really manage to make him happy. and my grandma cooks good food over there. the only problem i feel, is that the house is too big for my grandpa to move around.

and the tv is on the second floor, i can somehow feel how much trouble it is for him to want to watch the tv. but i doubt he will need the tv though.

the tv in my house, in his room, isn't working well, and i wonder how did he watch tv. i don't know where the problem lies, so i guess we can only wait for my uncle to come back from china and pay people to do it.

i hope all these isn't happening because of my unlucky air this year.

well, as the situation is now, my maid is sent over to their house to help my grandpa too. and i'm all alone at home now.

if it was a year or 2 years ago, i would have been happy. for i can smoke anytime i want, i can on the music and loud as i like, i can cook on my own, use all the things in the fridge..

well, i stilll can. but i find the place too lonely for me. no one is around. no one at all.

it's been different since my bro went Ns. but it's even worse now. really.

the air turns too thin. breathing never been this bad.

i hope this is the worst in the unluckiness this year. please, no more bad things, please.

Is this what they call "torment"?

2006-04-03T20:58:00.001+08:00

I woke up, with a frightened heart. I have no idea why is it like that.

I suppose my heartbeat rate went 200 - 500. It continued for an hour. Then i went up to prepare for school. Suddenly, i have this feeling. I don't want to see anyone at all. I don't want to speak to anyone either.

I just wanted to hide somewhere, cool yet warm at the same time, MY kind of temperature settings. I wanted to just hide and rest, just free myself of everything.

I couldn't find the place to hide. I just stayed at home. Imagine, even home isn't the place to hide for me.

I pushed my work schedule. I just wanted to be alone.

Alone.

Is this what they call "torment"?

2006-04-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

Things I used to enjoy.

2006-03-06T05:02:00.000+08:00

I used to enjoy following my brother out. We go pick up his girlfriend, sometimes with a few other friends, and we head to the billiard salons to have sessions of billiards.

Then it is supper time. We head to a nearby coffee shop, and I have my favourite duck noodles. Everytime we arrive, the stall owner will know what I want. I am a really picky guy, especially when it comes to food.

"Duck noodles, dry, extra noodles, extra chili with half an egg?" the long hair ahbeng looking dude would ask. I would reply yes with a big grin on my face.

That stall's duck noodles are probably the best I ever had. I like their gravy so much, there was once when I fell sick, I refused to eat anything other than their duck porridge.

After supper, sometimes we go back to the billiard salon to have more sessions, sometimes we go off to play lan games. Most of the times, my brother would send his girlfriend home. And I enjoyed the car ride the most. I love car rides. Especially with my brother.

Though we do not speak most of the time when it is only the two of us in the car, I enjoy being in his car with him. Probably he understands that I like to just stare out of the car window, thinking of my problems. Probably we have nothing to say. But I enjoyed every second spent in the car.

...................................

I used to enjoy sneaking out of my house when I was in secondary school to meet up with my friends. I used to be super broke at that time. The money I brought at night, was the coins I dug from the pouch my Grandpa would store coins for me and my brother to spend.

But it was still one of the best times in my life. The first night I sneaked out was with two of my closest friends. They were thinking of a place to eat. But before I went out, I explained that I had little cash. They said things that made me did not mind going out.

Then, I simply said, the porridge at Balestier is not bad. And immediately they got a taxi and brought me there to eat. They paid for it. I shed an invisible tear. I was moved.

After having the porridge, they were thinking of somewhere to go. Then they thought of billiards and we went to Balestier Point to play.

Then the next few nights we did the same things.

Those were the best nights of my life.

Then somethings changed. I still sneaked out of my house and went out to either play computer games or pool. Every night I had little cash. Every night one of my friends paid for me.

Then every night we'd play or sit at somewhere and chat till the next morning. And even reaching home, I have sometime before I get ready to go to school and have nothing to do. So one of my friends, again, accompanied me on the phone till school time.

Those were the best moments.

..............................................

I used to enjoy going fishing trips with a group of friends. Though I seldom do the fishing, I enjoyed every part of the night. I enjoyed just sitting down, looking at the sea which appeared black, feeling the cold wind.

I enjoyed sitting in my brother's car, then going to fetch each of my friends one by one, then heading to the jetty to fish. Then we'd check each other's bag to see who brought what. Sometimes the items they brought were really funny. Once, one of my friends brought an apple.

We'd bring food, drinks, and maybe some snacks. But he brought an apple. I laughed till my stomach hurt, and I ate up the apple.

I usually helped to tie the fishing strings, prepare the rod, put the bait to the rod, and then I would just sit somewhere and look into the sea.

And in the morning, when daylight breaks, we would all go home on my brother's car. The car would go on one of the expressways, where in the morning, the view was just overwhelming. I told the rest, "I hope time would stop now".

..........................................

I used to enjoy some of my friends coming my place to play video games.

We would usually play some soccer games. Then, some ghost games which thrilled everyone, even those who were watching. After playing the games, we would go to a coffee shop near my house, and have supper. They used to serve western food, and cheap ones at that time.

And we would eat and talk crap till the next morning.

...................................................

I think god can explain

2006-03-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

I THINK GOD CAN EXPLAIN

I never knew..

2006-02-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

I never knew there were such beaufiful places near Singapore.

I mean, in Singapore. I never knew I could see a crossliner(that's what fk says it's called).

I never knew just clouds, some trees, some waters, some dirty sand and some wooden barricades could form into a living paradise on earth.

I thought these places only existed in fairy tales.

I never knew the clear sky could be so beautiful. I never did understand why we couldn't see stars from the view of our rooftops. I never knew.

I understood it only last night, I saw the most beautiful sky in my life. I doubt I will ever see anything else at beautiful as that.

Sometimes these sights manage to convince me there is beauty. And that life is worth the living. As long as such things exist. Sometimes.

The picture of the stars and with the coconut tree slightly blocking me from viewing some of the stars, is deeply embedded in my head. I only need it to tell myself, paradise do exist.

But only for the people who are willling to work for it.

I've worked for it, haven't I ? Someone's gonna give me the "you have to try harder" shit.

That's shit.

Has it ever occured to you?

2006-02-25T16:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in life, we feel so lost, we hope the next day will be a better one.

It turns out to be a little better. But the 3rd day only turns out to be a fucked one.

Then you can't help but cry to yourself, asking yourself why is life so fucked for you. It doesn't matter to you that it is fucked for everyone else as well, because you just feel you have the most fucked up life than anyone else in this universe.

They just don't understand. But then again, you don't understand it yourself either. And you hear healing words everywhere. You friends spill concern to you. The smiles from your family members make you wish that having a fucked life, but with your family and friends around you, balances everything.

Then, your friends start fucking up on you. Your family members, they don't matter now. You even expect them to fuck on you the next day.

Has life sucked this badly for you?

By reading this, you might feel you can take on it. You might feel, "It is so not true! My friends and family can heal anything inside of me".

I can assure you, you have never felt fucked enough.

Sometimes, you just feel like keeping quiet. You just feel like being alone. Because after all, you are the only person who understand you. You pray, you wish, you hope, you cry out loud begging to whoever is up there, to send you anything.

Be it a song, a person, a written note, a pill, anything. You just hope it heals you.

You'd rather your pain be converted into any other type of disease. Even terminal ones. Because you hate the pain you have of inside you now.

You are smart enough to know death won't settle the problems. But you're smart enough to know, staying alive will only intensify the pain.

Nothing matters for the day. After all, you had worse times. You think everything is a waste of time.

There is no motivation.

There is no help.

Well, if it has occured to you and everything is over, you were me for a while.

If it has never occured to you, you are one lucky piece of shit, and you never felt what's it like to be me.

If it occurs to you every day and night, congratulations. You are me.

Even heroes have the right to dream.

Just a random thought..

2006-02-15T03:12:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I realised I blog very seldom so I thought I wanna put something in here.

I was just thinking the other day, that if one day I die, this blog will be the only easily accessible thing from me that lives.

And people will look back in the archives and see how had I grown up, my happy times, my sad times.

I might return from the netherworld to post something. Maybe if i don't hve much time, well, maybe I'm receiving my daily torture in h-mail (hell mail), I'll come back to re-read some of the posts.

My computer is really fucked now, every paragraph i type, the browser will pause for 10 - 20 seconds and I have to wait before i continue with the post. AND IT SUCKS.

I bloody pissed with everything, so fuck, i'm gonna clik on publish now.

Long time no write

2006-01-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, long time no write. I haven't written for very long. I mean blogged. I haven't blogged for quite sometime.

I don't have much things to talk about, because I kinda hate typing about things I do now. Though I still do write about it sometimes.

ANYWAY.

MY BLOG IS 1 YEAR OLD! OMGWTFBBQ!!

Amazing right? I remembered last year's CNY I wasn't feeling very happy, though I collected quite a sum of money. Anyway this year I collect only 300+, less than last year coz this year I don't get to go alot of relatives' house.

How often do you get to keep a thing for a year?

Happy birthday to my blog!

By the way, as I do not need to go other relatives' houses to collect money, they come to my house and give me.

Like I said, it really sucks to be popular.

Anyway, I'm about to say some really means things now.

I have a younger female cousin, who is in primary 5 now. She is very smart, and is sent to SAP school. It's actually a school for gifted kids.

I didn't think much of her, as in, I don't hate her but I don't like her very much either. But today, I almost gave her a punch in the stomach so she cannot eat for another month.

Because she is "branded" smart by all my family members, I asked her, "Hey, how high is your IQ?"

GUYS. Now think, what will a normal primary 5 girl say? Let's just say she knows her IQ lvl coz she took an exam.

Maybe..

"Oh, maybe average only. I not sure about the score also."

or maybe..

"I think I am quite high, but I got one friend higher leh."

or maybe, if she is fucking proud..

"130+. My daddy says it is very high."

Ok these are the few possiblities I can think of.

WANNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SHE SAID?

"Oh, very high. I higher than my father."

And she went to play her game, leaving me alone almost turning into a pot of boiling oil.

I wanted to say "FUCK YOU AND YOUR FATHER, I'M HIGHER."

Maybe it doesn't sound rude here, but she really has a fucked proud attitude. One day, just one fucking fine day, I will pay the ahlians in her school to beat her up.

If nowadays still have ahlian, that is. I will tell them to spit on her face and say "FUCK YOUR IQ." after beating her up. Then she will be so traumatised that she hides somewhere and cry.

And slowly, day after day, she will be so afraid of showing off. She will opt for normal tech when she can enter express or special stream when choosing secondary schools.

And when people say she pretty, she will go home and scar her face. When people praise her of her good figure, she will cut off the extra flesh, and cook soup with it to feed her SAP primary schoolmates.

And the rest will all die of poisoning. And she will be charged for homicide.

JUST KIDDING. Nowadays you can't even joke. Lucky I got no racist comments on my blog.

THE PRICE OF SHOWING OFF.

I fucking hate show offs. I seldom show off in my life. The only times I do, will be towards the people that I hate. Let's say I hate this ahbeng working in a clothes shop, I will wait one day when I have lotsa cash, and I go infront, open my wallet BIG, and slam some notes on the cashier.

That was just an example.

Moral of today's story, DON'T SHOW OFF OK !! KAN NI NA.

Thao-rai?

2006-01-17T18:34:00.000+08:00

It hurts, man. I only find out how much I hate living in Singapore when I take a break.

Yeah, maybe the only reason I like Singapore is that I'm able to shit comfortably. It really hurts when you live a week of total enjoyment and nothing else, and when suddenly you find out you have to go back to your nest of heartaches.

Anyway it rocks to be happy, so I'll rock on the happy things.

LISTEN HERE YOU SUCKERS.

23 shirts.
2 jackets.
3 jeans.
1 boardshorts.
1 3/4 pants.
1 sling bag.
1 city bag.
1 pair of shoes.
1 pair of slippers.
1 pair of boxing gloves.
3 pair of boxers.
COUNTLESS TASTE OF POWER FOOD.

But still not enough of it. The next trip, I WILL GO TO PATTAYA. I SWEAR I FUCKING WILL. I fucking regret that I didn't go there. Shit, fuck shit, fuck!

My mom say my clothes can open shop ! HAHAHA.

I fucking agree, but I think only can sell to fat-asses like me. Unless jer bought as much as me, we will be able to cater to all sizes.

I'm going to study in MDIS, thanks very much to Ivor who gave me every detail of the school and fees. I lost my fucking N lvl cert, how? Cheebeh.

Bags, documents, cash, clothes, underwear....

2006-01-11T08:37:00.000+08:00

Say, anyone can tell me what's missing from the list in the title?

Whoever guesses correctly will be rewarded with a present.

Anyway I cannot contain my feelings anymore. Everything seems a little bit too unimportant.

Food taste yucky, the skies turn grey. The birds then stop singing, their eggs start to drop on the floor and leave a purple splatter. Slow driving Volkswagen vintage Beetles get into accidents when the speeding ahbeng Evo 9 get away safely. The morning view which looked stunning suddenly looked like it belonged to a postcard.

Then it came. My long awaited recess of tiresome living came.

Food taste heavenly, the skies turn bright green (i know there is no bright green sky but fuck you). The birds start singing Josh Groban songs (which suck) and their eggs hatch simultaneously. Volkswagen win Evo 9 in races, and Evo 9s resulted in crashing into road dividers. The morning view lasted like till eternity.

I've never been this excited for a long long time. But i've been happier than this.

I went to Jason's bday on monday. AND ALL OF YOU! GUESS WHAT.

RONALD SUSILO WAS FUCKING THERE ! Ooops. Sorry. He was there, but he wasn't fucking.

I mean, RONALD-FUCKING-SUSILO WAS THERE! I took photo with him somemore. HE also not that handsome, dunno why so many girls like him. PUI. But i was like a teeny girl when I asked to take photos with him.

You can't blame me. I was drunk. I could have blown on him. But fuck you. I mean, I won't. But I was drunk. I could have made him blow on me.

Anyway, there was lots of drinking and fun. And mistakes. And fun. But it wasn't as fun as the normal days.

Then Jason asked me to go down yesterday again, when I was with Jack and SYS playing BF2. I said siao ah! He always ask me on the following day of a crazy night. And I hate consecutive drinking nights (though I was doing it quite oftenly recently).

So I sadly rejected him.

Anyway Lee Hom's new song FUCKING ROCK ALRIGHT.

Title is.. Kiss Goodbye.

FUCKING ROCKS.

Anyway as I was typing the previously, a msn alert suddenly popped up. It was a friend, and her nick was "I taught your boyfriend that thing you like."

Na bei cheebye. Girls nowadays. That's really fucking mean. Argh.

Bye.

Life didn't suck this badly

2006-01-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

As i was saying, my life suck shit now, because everything spoil for no fucking reason.

And, yes, i forgot to add, my PS2 fucking broke on me too. The only joy I have now, is type with a lots of laggy pop-ups appearing.

By the fucking way.. If i didn't already mentioned, I fucking love the song by coldplay, titled Fix You. Though at times like this, listening to songs won't help, I shall say that the song has it's fair share of helping me with my troubles.

It's the new year already, but I'm still stucked.

OK FUCK IT. I DECIDED. I'm going to type like before. Wanna see?

Hmm.. yesterday was a fucking blast. Went to discussion with the same old people. Must i mention who? I musn't. But i'm going to .. haha. Was with jason, jon tang, thai guy, jason's partner and ray. aiya no need to say also know, ray sure there.

anyway, it was a blast man ! It was kinda ok in the beginning, i mean, the usual shit, drinking shit, talking cock shit, pool trashing shit. but throughout in the middle, my stomach felt as if it was gonna fucking BURST on me man!

I hate the feeling of vomitting, and last night was the peak. I felt i had to run to the bowl any fucking. Anyway last night was also my first time seeing jon tang high. I mean it man. Maybe it wasn't his first time high infront of me, but i'll betcha he talked way lots more than before man.

and it was fun. they were all talking about how they gonna let jason die when the DAY arrives. i'm not that mean, but more importantly, I don't have to be mean to be funny. Maybe at times I am, but I hate to create jokes at the expense of others emotional security.

I know, i sound cheem but i happy leh. Why? Cannot is it !!

Anyway to continue, i slept over at ray's place and woke up to eat a tasteless packet of duck rice. Maybe uncle thinks I like duck rice, and thanks alot if he is so thoughtful!! Actually thanks alot that he bought for me liao.

Then i heard uncle say that the maid thought i was edmund, and told him ed's back. WTF LOR.

Haha, cos i was wearing their shirt mah. So easy to blend into someone's family. Maybe I can be spy.

If i were a spy, I will blend into Jacelyn tay's family and act as her room-mate who is also her sex buddy. -- TOTALY FICTITIOUS LAH.

Anyway I am still very unsure whether to join Singapore Idol or not leh. I feel very happy when I say i wana join, den my friends support me. Esp ray, he keep asking every now and then, like he very excited to have a SG Idol wannabe friend.

But I so fat, how to win sylvester? Sylvester 10KG only ! I am 80KG LEH!

I am 8 times behind him. Somemore since when did the asian music market accept a fatass as their idol?

But I very confused when people say "You'll never know".

YAH LAH, I DUNNO MAH. DEN YOU KNOW MEH.

I mean if u wanna giv confidence say something like "You can do it lor, you can be the first what."

Okay anyway JAck reach my house already. I hate it cos he is faggot, I going to keep my soap properly, cos wait I drop the soap, and I bend to pick it up, den JIALAT.

You'll never know. You'll never know, really.

IF THIS DOESN'T SUCK

2006-01-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

ALRIGHT GUYS.

If this doesn't suck, I dunno what will ok. Look.

I have 3 TVs in total. 1 is in my mom's room. 1 is always jumpy and i can't catch no shit from the screen. and 1 works as it likes and turns blank as it likes too.

I have 2 computers. 1 is the PC and has broken down for a few months already. THE OTHER IS THIS FUKING IRRITATING LAPTOP, which has just been infected with a fucking virus. FUCKING POP-UPS APPEAR EVERY FUCKING SINGLE MINUTE.

As if not bad enough, windows OS itself even has a few caption popups. One of them goes like this.

" Your internet connection lags. Your computer slows to a crawl. You receive pop-ups every now and then. You cannot do anything properly. Click here to find out how to protect your computer from the biggest virus."

WTF? Sounds like a fucking pop-up itself right?

As if not bad enough, my air-con is spoiling, it takes 10 minutes from the time I switch it on, to work. AS IF NOT FUCKING BAD ENOUGH, I HAVE NOTHING TO DO.

Yah right, HOME SWEET HOME.

Hey, HOME FUCKING SWEET HOME, alright?

As I type this, I am actually containing my anger and restraining myself from cracking the laptop into 2. I'm typing with my fists clenched. DON'T FUCKING ASK ME HOW, you will know if you are in the same situation, understand?

You fucking bread-face.

Finally jack is online to talk to me. But i dun wanna talk to much to him. Cos i think he is a nerd.

Nevermind, I shall keep blogging.

My mom actually turned VERY ANG MOH LEH !

Before i came up, she said "You everyday go boozing, how to spend your money in thailand like that?"

WOW, she used BOOZE. I wanted to be like "Uh, yeah, I think i gotta save a nickle or two, man"

But I cannot react in time cos SHE VERY ANG MOH LIAO.

I think i have to stop now cos i wanna play Tactics Arena Online with jack. IF MY BROWSER DOESN"T FUCKING FAIL ON ME, that is.

IT IS A NEW YEAR !

2006-01-01T21:47:00.000+08:00

Welcome 2006! YOU ARE FINALLY HERE! FUCKING CHEEBYE WHY YOU TAKE SO LONG ONE?

I only put up this post for a reason, that is to write my new year resolutions.

1. Earn money.
2. Study in MDIS.
3. Be happy.
4. Get a new phone.
5. Go to the Land Of Smiles.
6. Lose weight.
7. Learn something new.
8. Celebrate my birthday.
9. Drink less.
10. Spend money less quickly.
11. Enter Z**k.
12. Learn driving.
13. Eat fucking good food, like at least $100 for a meal.

Heartfelt

2005-12-28T21:14:00.000+08:00

by the way just to note down, i'm having a msn chat with YS because we're both looking for the same song he found it and sent it to me, and we begin screaming like 10 year old girls over their idols - "cyberly".

jive. says:
strange thing is i dunno how i manage to find lo

jive. says:
hahaha!

When I went up the stairs, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish, he'd go away. says:

maybe it works only when u behave clueless

jive. says:
ok

Honestly, I might laugh at myself when I realise we're behaving this badly online.

I shall continue.

It's been a long time since I spilled all my feelings into a conversation. 2 people at a dark coffeeshop. 2 people who's family had problems. 2 people who just went drinking and down a whole bottle of chivas. 2 people having supper, 1 knowing he will vomit it out. 2 people holding back their tears. 2 people of the fish specie.

1 cold lonely night.

1 warm conversation.

It will be another 10 years down the road, to have another conversation like that. That 10 years later, I will be drunk again.

I never did this. I never told anyone my problems or how bad I felt. I never did.

I'll change my layout and other profile stuff after this to prepare for the new year.

To the people whom I held back from: I'm sorry.

To the same people who continously tried: I'm grateful.

To the same people who shared countles memories: I remember.

I shan't continue, it is already being felt. Lest I go on and on and it gets longer and longer and stupid by each line.

By the way I really want to intro this song to all of you out there... Xin - Ru Guo Hai You Ming Tian.

What have we found ? The same old fears.

Oh, I really do.

2005-12-19T08:43:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I really hope I can be overjoyed (as in exaggeratedly happy) at things that do not matter.

For instance, laughing madly at someone who farted loudly. I used to be able to. Not now.

I have to keep in mind every word that I say will affect both myself and the other party. I still crack stupid jokes, but when I'm drunk. It hasn't been long since. I get wasted like anyhow, nowadays.

I feel stupid even. But I can't help. That's the only way I can switch my mode from "Life is tiresome" to "Life is beautiful". And sadly, that's the way people prefer me to be. Not as in drunk, but as in "Life is beautiful" and being able to laugh at shat shit, though not just that.

I... have my commitments.

My lips swell.

2005-12-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I had put up anything here.

I have nothing to write, I'm just waiting for dinner to be served to me in silver plates, gold cutlery, and platinum trays.

My lips are swollen for no fucking reason and I think I'm suffering from some weird disease. I need a doctor.

LIFE is so boring that i am blogging to often

2005-11-29T12:23:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I used my Mp3 player recently, because I found I neglected it for too long. And then I realised how useful it is to me again.

Now, every song that I listen in my mp3 player reminds me of a certain moment in life. I somehow am able to bring myself back to the time when I loved/liked that particular song, and it felt good. It feels good to dwell in the past occasionally.

It sucks when reality snaps you out of it, telling you what to do, what's right, what's wrong.

Sometimes people do the things their heart tell them. Sometimes people do the things they think is right.

I do the things I only feel like doing, because I know, what I feel ...
..
..
is right.

I'm lying. Sometimes I know if I do what I feel like doing is wrong. And I follow the "right" path. But it sucks to not do what you feel like doing. But then again, it sucks to do what you feel like doing, and then regret because it is wrong.

Anyway I went for several interviews today. And I succeeded in one, which I have to go for a second interview next monday. It is, again, OUTDOOR SALES.

I will never do these kind of jobs again. NEVER. But the boss very chio leh.

Beginning when I went in the office, which is a small and pathetic one, I knew and thought to myself that this is a fucking lousy job they are about to offer.

And I got the form from the pregnant lady. (Sorry if she is not pregnant, cos she is overweight and she seems to wear a pregnant lady's dress) Next, as I fill in the form and wait to see the boss, I flip through a Her World magazine I found in the office.

I was stupidly hoping that it will be a good job. But when I was called in the office, my mind went haywire.

"I'm going to fuckin work this job, no matter how fuckin hard it is man!"

"SORRY, but though you are very chio, I don't do fucked up jobs."

She is very chio. She shook hands with me, and is a firm one. I know from then that she must have met important people before, to know how to shake hands with people.

She explained that it is an outdoor sales job. I made her like me. I cracked silly jokes. I seized the chance. She said she'll call, if I am shortlisted.

And she did, only a few hours later. I am smart.

I am the man.

But I don't intend to turn up... :(

If only she had a Retails position for me... :(

She very chio.

She very chio.

She very chio.

SUCKY JOB HISTORY

2005-11-26T05:27:00.000+08:00

This is just another random post.

I have a jobstreet account, and I am using it, finally, this few weeks. It appears that many of the companies who hire do not accept the application through the website. They want a self-written resume sent to their e-mail.

So I tried to type my own, and ended up very satisfied with the result. It appears like a real (not that mine is fake, i just think writing resumes need "standard") executive resume. I then sent out my resume to about 4 or 5 companies.

I was very happy, and sitting back on my chair, hoping that a ring will sound on my phone, from them. Suddenly, I wanted to take a look at my so-wonderful-resume again. Then when I opened the file, EVERYTHING WAS GONE.

EVERYTHING. Except my name and the borders. I got a fucking shock. In the first place, I did not use MS word, but I reckoned Wordpad is just as good, just a little more difficult to use. It is definitely not my fault, because I saved it several times before I sent it out.

I am so KNN pissed can. Fuck wordpad, fuck my laptop. FUCK THE COMPANIES. Fuck YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

Ok.

So now I am waiting for Jack to wake up, so I can run over to his place to use his better laptop, equipped with MS WORD! And I will find a good job that pays me $4000 a month, not forgetting transport allowance of extra $800, food and entertainent allowance of another $800, self-imaging allowance of $1000, and also the free bungalow house at Harlyn Road.

For those of u who do not know yet, Harlyn Road is a place for fucking rich bastards to build houses with 7 or 8 swimming pools. And also, for those of u who do know yet, my uncle lives there. :)

Anyway recently I heard a comment about me.

"I think he is very handsome, and I want to fuck him 1000 times."

Just kidding.

"I think he is pampered lor."

Bad word to use on me. Bad, bad, very bad. At that point of time, I just felt everyone is entitled to their own opinions. And I didn't quite much of the comment after that.

I just feel bored and want to write it down.

Okay maybe the person made this comment because in the first place, I first said "Oh, I found a job but I don't want to do. Because they require us to wear long sleeves, and wear tie, but the real job is wrap hampers and cashier. I don't like to wrap hampers, but why make us wear tie!?"

The person said "Oh, I see, yah quite true."

Then the person , lets call her LayDeh. LayDeh as in Lady, but hip hop version. Like, Yo' Ma LayDeh, 'sup? LayDeh made that comment to my friend.

Now that I think of it, it is very appropriate to say that of me can. Now let me ask everyone.

Who has worked before as a...
STREET SURVEYOR - THE KIND WHO WALK AROUND AND STOP PEOPLE AND ASK STUPID QUESTIONS.

CLEANER - THE KIND THAT GUARD THE DAMN TOILET AND WASH OFF YOUR FUCKIN SHIT.

WAITER - THE NORMAL KIND. (THE KIND THAT STEAL TIPS.)

These are my top 3 fucked jobs. PAMPERED? I earn my dough by the hour, by the commission, with BLOOD( i bled before as a waiter) and SWEAT (everytime) OK ? ? ?

The worst thing is that the person she made that comment to, didn't work as jia lat jobs as me before. I mean obviously when a person says "I think he is pampered" means the person thinks I'm the only one right. If the person thinks that both my friend and I are pampered, she might say "I think you all pampered lor".

KA NI NA! I more pampered? Try work as cleaner lah! IN SUNTEC CITY MALL OK!?

GUARD TOILETS AND SEE YOUR FRIENDS WALK IN !

WASH TOILETS AND TELL PEOPLE "Hello? Wo Zai Xi Che Suo, Yong Level 3 De, Ke Yi Ma? (i'm washing the toilet, use the ones at level 3 can?)"

And when mopping the floor, people come in pee and say "Sorry ah uncle, awhile only." Then they turn around and see that u not uncle, they paiseh. BUT THEY NEVER THINK, WHO MORE PAISEH !?

Sucky jobs!

Fix me

2005-11-19T22:56:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile, since I'd put up meaningful posts instead of talk cock crap on my blog.

Today shall be one of the few meaningful posts. I haven't posted anything in some time, which I do not know why, because I have all the time in the heaven to do it.

I am actually supposed to go to my 2nd interview in 2 and half hours, but I just can't get anymore rest and so I am typing some stuff here to keep myself busy.

I'm supposed to be there by 9, but I'm meeting Chan at 7.30, grab some early bites, and then slowly make our way to our interviewer's place.

No one's clear of what we are going to do for the job yet, but the big guy promised us Retails, and that's what I clearly saw him write down on our interview sheets, and I expect today to be like a shortlisting interview.

I only do retails, because that's what I'm good at. I am good at all sales, but personally, I'd rather someone come to me, than me going to search for all that. In terms of work, or anything else.

I'm thinking how unfair is it for my friends who don't read my blog, or rather, do not know that this blog exists. I keep a lot of things in here. No need examples, but what some posts might seem another day's ranting is actually a mid-level secret to myself.

And yet, it gets publicised accidentally, to many people whom I never thought they would read. I mean, of course, I love having more readers.

Besides, I write of less personal stuff now. But compared to many of my friends who do not know of the existence of this blog, those who know are pretty lucky. Like I mentioned, this is supposed to be an "inner thought" thing.

But shit, who cares anymore.

Maybe I should be open with this blog, and talk about the things I wrote before as common topics when meeting people. Or maybe I should bring the rest of my friends the knowledge of the existence of this blog. Or maybe I should just leave it as it is.

Damn, it shocks myself to realise how many backspaces I press as I type a single paragraph.

By the way, speaking of unwanted publicity, for I do not bother about it anymore, I want to say I really admire Juleen's writing a lot. Her words have the ability to make me switch moods. And to turn off the sad songs my winamp usually play. Sometimes I even sit down and think about the previous events I've been through, I usually don't, at least not when I'm busy using the computer.

Some people think I'm pretty hurt by what happened.

A few honest words here.

I am not as hurt as many people do imagine. The truth is, from the beginning, I could feel my family was not as complete as others that I see. When it happened, it just seemed natural. Not that I expected it, not that I didn't feel sad at all.

What really hurt me, is that till now, I hear, people are still discussing about me leaving the army. Sometimes, I feel, in the eyes of theirs, I'm a weak little teeny wimp who is just "trying things out" and then not being able to take it and "giving up".

If I were to really "give up", I would be carrying on my service.

Ok, I'm just talking about it and tapping it down, I'm not DOWN. So please spare me the words/sms/phone calls of pity.

With gratitude.

Applaud.

2005-11-08T15:24:00.000+08:00

Wow.

So long since I had submitted a post up here. And MANY people are asking me to put up something!

It sucks to be popular, it really does.

Anyway, to mark the mood, I have received my 2nd and 3rd applause from Discussion! I don't want to talk about my first, because maybe the audience were drunk.

But the 2nd and 3rd? WOW.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a guy who frequent those karaoke pubs, and not the dirty lao uncle lup sup ktv. Because I drink, and I sing, so I usually go to the budget ones. Discussion is not budget for me.

And Discussion is a place that is Jam-packed with good singers. I dare say, many of the customers in Discussion are better than the Superstars. No one will understand how I feel until one day they really listen.

It is like, you know, some of you go to the Partyworld or Kbox, and sing with your friends and have fun. And maybe sometimes, you have a friend that is particularly better than the rest. Discussion is the place that the better ones gather. Besides trying to hit on the not-so-fabulous-but-passable waitress, many people go there to sing.

I always dared to sing in normal Karaoke pubs, but, my first time in Discussion, I was like a 7 year old leading the primary school the Pledge. My legs trembled, my mind went blank, I went monotoned.

But it wasn't till I was 60% drunk. I chose a song and obediently waited. Obediently meaning not drinking anymore, but let's not talk about the hitting on the waitress.

When my song came, my confidence went "BAMBAGHAMZIMZAMZOOOOOM". I just sang as if no one was listening. And when the song finished... I got my first applause. I was proud. I turned and smile at them. They showed me their thumbs. I thought it might had meant "I wanna stick this in your ass", but NO, it meant "YOU ARE SO GOOD I WANT TO SUCK YOUR THUMB!".

That was the first applause I got from there, and yes, I am flaming proud of it.

But the 2nd and third, was nothing compared to the first. That is because, this time, I am only 30% drunk, and I KNOW most of the audience are not drunk. I gave it all I got, and the first table of guys came and tell me personally, "You're good, man!".

WAH.

I had the adrenaline rushed down my spine. My back naturally straightened. I AM PROUD.

This applause felt better, because it came from a guy whose singing was so good, I applauded from him too. He told me he joined the Superstar competition, but got kicked out on the 2nd round. I went, "What the fuck? Hey don't kid me man, you will win Junyang that faggot without effort lah!!".

I was so angry. Now I know how unfair the judges really are.

I am slowly building my fame in the Under-singing-World. My fame index has jumped like, 10/1000 to about 14/1000. 10 = My friends. 4 = Strangers.

And when I reach 1000, I will turn God, and I will bestow the power of the "Magic Voice" upon people, and their fame index will boost by 200.

And I will also give out a +20 Charm Of Bliss, which they can use to allow people feel bliss when singing.

Not to mention, one day if I retire from being the God, I will give up my position to people who hate Sylvester Sim ultimately. If there is a tie, I will make up competitions to see who hates him more.

I will create an exact replica of SLY but in a Chio Bu form, and see if they want to bang her. If there is a tie again, I will create an ultimately-not-sly man, and see if they wanna bang him.

If there really is a tie again, I commit suicide and kill the whole world, because I can't believe people will hate SLY to the extent to Fuck guys.

Once upon a time..

2005-10-28T04:25:00.000+08:00

During the japanese occupation time, people did not have enough money or food to eat.

This might sound like the normal Japanese Occupation story. Because it is the normal Japanese Occupation story. However, the characters are close to my life.

Back in the 1940s, there were two brothers. The younger one (let's call him YB), was mischievous and a little bit too playful.

The elder one (EB), was on the other hand, responsible and rather hardworking.

The family needed money. So they asked YB to go sell some of their old stuffs for money. However, YB would always return home in the evening with nothing sold. Mom and Dad suspected he went out to play.

So they told EB to go and sell them. EB would always return with everything sold.

As they proceeded to secondary school, EB would always pass his grades, but YB, did exactly the opposite. YB womanised and said to have contracted many illnesses through his ways.

And life went on, EB became a nurse (yes, a MALE nurse). And YB, as he had no education or whatsoever, he went to become a sailor. As YB had to leave his home for months and years, his parents missed him.

And they wanted him to stay in Singapore, so they matchmade him with a lady, and tied him down to Singapore. However, as he could not find a job, he would always gamble. And there went all his money.

Anyway I'll disclose now that EB is my grandpa and YB is his brother, of course.

Since I was young, Grand Uncle would always come and visit us at our house. However, every single time he visited, my Grandpa would scold him. And I do not know about what, because it was in hokkien.

At that time I thought Grandpa just didn't love his brother. I thought Grandpa didn't want him as a brother yesterday.

But things were proven wrong yesterday. Grandpa cried after listening to a phone call. And I followed him to the hospital, seeing that Granduncle is in the Intensive Care Unit, TTS. It was the first time I heard my Grandpa cried so badly, and I felt as if a litted cigarette was burning my heart.

I heard some of the Grandaunts said he is dying, and everyone was very emotional. And I, myself, almost cried too, even though I didn't know him well.

Till, my uncle Eddie came. He is a doctor, and a very famous one at that.

The moment he came, everyone stopped crying. He had an air of (insert whatever powerful word) around him. He was like a deity. Everyone had faith in him. Everyone just knew that with him around, things would be less tough.

And he went to speak with the consultants in charge, and found out about my Granduncle's condition.

The truth was out. NO ONE is dying.

It was just one of the Grandaunt taking things too seriously.

I felt super-pissed after hearing that.

For what FUCK you cry and assume he's dying when you haven't even heard the doctor saying a thing? Stupid!!! Really STUPID. Made my Grandpa cry for nothing. Made me feel sad for nothing too.

But he's in a not so good condition lah. Help pray for him ok? All religions also can.

Speaking about religions, I have someone to say, to all the gullible people.

If you believe there is God, then there is only ONE. DO NOT now assume I'm talking about which particular religion.

There are so many religions because it was God's way of allowing more people of different culture, race, and language to learn good. Imagine the ancient chinese being told that an ang moh with beard and crucified on the cross is their Almighty One?

So actually all religions are the same.

For me, I don't exactly believe in Gods.

I am..

2005-10-28T04:02:00.000+08:00

All the famous blogger also start already, how can I not ???

A meme here, made by yours truly.

I am that guy, you heard singing in the KTV so loud, the speakers screech sometimes in response.

I am that guy, you always see his crooked smile, because he doesn't know how to smile at living things.

I am that guy, with a very wierd laugh, which you probably heard when he does not have enough sleep.

I am that guy, who hated to keep short hair.

I am that guy, who shaved his head.

I am that guy, who enjoys keeping short hair now.

I am that guy, who enjoys seeing people's shocked faces when he starts shopping.

I am that guy, who hates to look at people in the eye.

I am that guy, who looks at people in the eye everytime.

I am that guy, who made two big pots of potatoes, and almost threw all of them away.

I am that guy, who always wanted the easy way out,

I am that guy, who you will hear him singing whenever he has nothing to talk to you.

I am that guy, who swore never to smoke.

I am that guy, who smokes more than his circle of smoking friends.

I am that guy, who thought TV dramas were fake.

I am that guy, who is experiencing TV dramas live now.

I am that guy, who wishes he can live in the same place for a longer time.

I am that guy, who hates to think of the future.

I am that guy, who hated every single human being.

I am that guy, who loves every single human being.

If i had a chance..

2005-10-25T04:42:00.000+08:00

Ok today will be another random topic day.

It is 1.19pm now, and i have not slept since yesterday 2pm because, I just cannnot sleep.

I am on MSN now with someone just as lonely as me and we're talking crap.

Anyway to begin, I'm hyper-active when I do not sleep enough. This morning Jack, Ray and I were having a conversation when Ray suddenly farted.

Jack joked that Ray's fart actually is blue in colour. Like, try to imagine the blue gas letting out from his butt. And Jack continued that blue is actually level 2 only.

The max level is green. Which is Andy's fart colour. Jack says, the fart is so powerful that the walls crack when he farts. HAHAHAHA.

I don't know but it sounded super funny to me in the morning and I couldn't stop laughing as though I had been taking marijuana. I haven't taken it before but I hear people say you laugh like mad, like you just heard a joke about green farts.

HAHA.

Anyway to get into the title of this post today. I just realised i'm blogging about stupid jokes today.

I was asked if i had a chance to chance my face into anyone's I want, who would it be?

I answered Louis Koo. I just went by instinct. And then I was asked, if I were given a ferrari sports car to marry an ugly woman, would I ? I replied No.

Then the Qns went back to surgery of the face. If i were given 1 million dollars to chance my face to Jack's, would I ?

I say you give me the whole damn world, I'd rather kill myself.

Sorry that I sound mean. HAHAHA.

Okay. Anyway, I am hereby very proud to announce the statistics of the viewership of my blog. My number of comments actually broke my personal record by 1 on the previous post!

I am so damn glad. Though I have more readers than 6 people(well, fuck the spammers), I actually am very glad when I have more than 2 comments, not including the motherfucking spammers.

Or is it because I talked about serious topics, like handicaps?

Maybe I should talk about impotent men next post ?

I suddenly thought of something to talk about.

THE FUCKING ACT CUTE BOTAK SUPERSTAR CONTESTANT.

What the fuck ? Can get extra leave from NS? Cos of fucking stupid young teens like to see his glitter eyes and to listen to his short tongue voice? I cannot even tell the difference when he say Shin and Xin and Sing and Sin and Xing ! They all sound like SHING.

I used to root for that act cute fuck shit , till I recently heard that the dumbfuck studio signed him on. What for? Give him a damn chance to escape from NS? And live like a young smart POLYTECHNIC kid trying to act as though he couldn't finish his math paper in PSLE?

FOR FUCK ?

Ok lah, his voice is quite special. I like his rendition of Tian Kong. He can makes girls' songs into male very nicely. Smooth.

BUT ESCAPE NS ?

What the dildo ? The competition is destroying his life. I cannot believe he is so happy to have escaped NS to be able to shine his eyes a little more and pronounce a million more words wrong.

God, help this kid please.

Handicap?

2005-10-21T23:34:00.000+08:00

Yo guys.

I'm writing this blog entry with a serious set of mind, so please read it fully, and comment with effort.

I was just listening to Xiaxue's podcast about handicaps, and I had some thought running through my mind.

She was misunderstood by many people for writing about a disabled person. And the podcast was to explain about what she actually meant.

Here's what I have to say about that incident, and also to show my views about the human race.

Everytime I see an old lady boarding the bus, and the bus is full, I'd want to give up my seat to her. Well or an old man, if it matters. Or a lady with kids. Or a pregnant lady.

Because I try to understand that older people have weaker bones and joints and probably aren't doing as well in their health as me, and have difficulty balancing on a bumpy bus ride.

But sometimes, as all of my friends know I am flat-footed, my feet hurt a LOT when I have done a whole day of walking. And I always look forward to the bus ride home, or train ride, so that I can seat down for a moment and rest my feet.

But who on earth can tell I am flat-footed by looking at me?

I mean, people might just assume that I am a healthy big-sized young man, and do not desperately deserve any seats.

But no one can understand the damn pain I am going through when I walk too much, or rather, the damn pain I am going through when I board a bus and there is no seats.

Well, not to mention no one will even bother to think that I need the seat more than him/her.

I think, in a way, that I am worse than some of the physically handicapped. Why?

Because I am suffering the pain where no one can see, and not have the minute chance to rest. While on the other hand, people actually can see an old lady having trouble holding on to the handbars and keeping herself balanced on the bus.

This brings the whole argument to another level. Maybe they are just afraid people might look down on them, because they look healthy, probably TOO HEALTHY to deserve a rest on the bus.

I'm not being selfish here, but my arguments extends to many people too.

People who have a stomachache and is rushing home to quickly release the pain.

People who have a bad cough and can't continue tolerating their cough infront of too many people.

People who are about to faint, and can't balance well on the bus.

I mean, there are so many incidents where you can't help but need a rest on the bus.

But some people just take it for granted that some kind souls actually give up their seats. They think they OWN the seats.

Well, if your healthy and do not need the seat as much, of course the kindest thing would be to give up the seats. I have done that many times myself, despite my flat feet.

But some people just do not get it. I do not like people who take things for granted. If you get it, thank them. If you don't, TOO FUCKING BAD !

Here, I have said what I need to say, and I hope people reading please comment with effort. Not one or two lines of "oh, nice post. what do you think about my new hair?".

Thanks and cheers.....

DVD crazy!

2005-10-20T08:39:00.000+08:00

Oh finally i'm able to blog.

The past few days my brother had been obsessed with his new game NFS underground2 and had been playing it for 10 hours non-stop a day, and I do not have a decent chance to use the laptop.

NOW that I'm alone at home using my computer, I've decided to post something before i go play games.

Anyway, the past few days I had been watching DVDs. Raymond lent me a big album of DVDs, and I am so crazy about it.

I watched about 8 movies i think. Let me count.

1. The village
2. The transporter
3. Van helsing
4. Deuce Bigalow 3
5. One more chance
6. Andy lau Tong Meng Qi Yuan
7. Final Fantasy Advent Children
8. Identity
9. Shaun Of the Dead
10. Hip Hop Wu Wang
11. Resident Evil

WOW I WATCHED 11 MOVIES! Anyway I really have to recommend Identity and the Andy lau new show, Tong meng qi yuan. I shan't talk too much about it.

I shall sign off with a poem in the movie Identity.

When I went up the stairs today,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today,
I wish, I wish he'd go away.

How funny.

2005-10-11T13:58:00.000+08:00

That's right. That's what they used to teach in colleges back in America. They still do, but it just isn't one of the core subjects now. The course title is "Pseudorthanical Psychologic Admiralistinarianism Theology". Most of the course students are female, not amazing.

Back to topic.

Sometimes I sit on the cold floor of my room, thinking how good it would be for my laptop to be with me now, because I have so many things to pen down on my blog.

However, the next day, when I return to the screen, I have nothing to talk about. Sometimes I feel like shutting down this blog, and turn it private, as in TOTALLY private, and I can type freely, as in TOTALLY freely.

But by doing that, it is also taking away the chances of keeping me and some lost friends' relationship intact.

Sometimes I also think that I have nothing to talk about because I am too free. I have too much time.

Sometimes I hate blabbering the same things over and over again. I used to type down aspirations and plans for studying hard here.

That used to work, because I will feel guilty because I have already written down on my blog.

But now, I don't even dare say the same things, because i'm afraid people might say i'm just talking cock. And I don't do what I say. And not even being daring enough to write those stuff, I don't even have the chance to feel guilty.

I'm not blaming anything or anyone for my stupidity, as in not realising how important it is to study.

I'm just feeling angry. Very angry now.

That some people just do not understand the importance of some matters. And take things for granted.

Maybe i'll be able to type like before only if the events are happening like before.

The elevator...

2005-10-08T08:48:00.000+08:00

Hello. As everyone can see, my blogger is good in my browser again !

Because I can add colours already. Let me try inserting a photo here.

Ahhhh.. A friend I met in Iraq. He said he saw me on TV and looked on me as his idol. But I don't feel it at all ! So I made him write his wishes on a paper and I'll take a photo of it.

I have no fucking idea why he wrote that, when I told him to write his wishes. Besides, I have never appeared on Iraq TV. Maybe they have broadband Tv over there? Well, anyway he was very glad to be a friend of mine. I have the same sentiments.

Blogger is good....

I'll come straight to the topic.

Isn't the elevator weird? You enter a box which transports you to different levels of the building. And you share it with so many disgusting people.

And you cannot even remember that, at times, you even hate sharing pencil cases with your siblings.

And you hear of so many funny ghost stories about it, and accidents involving it.

Why are we still so willing to share a big box with buttons on the wall, only able to fit about 10 people (i'm talking about HDB lifts here), and sometimes with the lights broken down, flickering about, and even, at times, stink of cat and dogs' urine (not to mention some irresponsible b*ng*las)?

I shall add a story here.

Yesterday, I was taking the lift with 3 bangalas, and a chinese couple. I entered first, and I pressed 22nd floor, which is my level. And as I could see that all of them were engrossed in their own conversation, and supposedly forgot to press their respective floor buttons, I kindly asked.

"Sorry, which floor are you all going?"

So the bangala trio replied 14, and the chinese couple replied 10. The chinese lady thanked me.

When the lift reached 10th floor, one of the bangala backed off from the door, and was actually reducing my personal space (if i am entitled to a personal space) on the lift.

The bangala was trying to make space for the chinese couple to get out. However, the chinese lady saw that, and was furious about it. She said, in a loud manner.

"HELLO ? YOU FUCKING CHEEBYE! KAN NI NA".

Just kidding.

She actually said "Hello? Do you know there is someone behind you? You are about to just lean on him you know?"

And she walked out. I was very grateful of her actions, because the man really did not realise that he is leaning on me. Or maybe he is gay, and did it delibrately.

I think the chinese lady was actually grateful for that I asked about their destinations and wanted to help me out. Or that she likes me, and wants me to feel protected by her.

The bangala trio felt very embarassed after that. They did not talk in the lift. When the lift reached their floor, one of them (not the one who leaned on me) gave me a very grateful smile.

I smiled back. I think he is trying to apologise for his friend's accidental action through his smile, and thank me at the same time. Or maybe he is gay too, and is trying to electric me with his smile.

So. Isn't it weird?

Sharing a lift with people you don't even know, people you don't even care about, people you don't even like to see?

But sometimes you don't even want to share your pencil case, your drink, your food, your condoms with your siblings, your friends, your relatives?

The media says the blogosphere is actually a portal to transfer knowledge and information.

Today, I shall let everyone know that.......

You should......

STOP SHARING LIFTS. JACK THE DOOR OPEN, PRESS MULTIPLE STOREYS, WHATEVER.

WHATEVER YOU CAN DO TO KEEP EVERY FUCKING THING TO YOURSELF AND STOP SHARING !

Blogger is fucked in my computer for good.

2005-10-03T01:49:00.000+08:00

Hey fuck this shit can. Blogger is seriously fucked in my browser.

The problem remains. It's my browser's problem, I suppose, none of the blogs I read from talk about this problem at all !

What the fuck. How am I suppose to add colours and picture to my blog.

Nvm, I will carry on blogging with boring black words.

Recently I feel that I do not really blog about what I do. And also recently, I found the reason why. Simply, I do not like what I do. And I do not blog about thing I do not like. Therefore, I do not blog about things I do.

I know it sucks, but other than bitching about people and talking bout' the things I do, I don't know what to write anymore.

So I choose to bitch about people today. J/k. I'll blog about things I've done the past few days, because, THANK GOD, I went out. I finally headed into the damn streets.

I have never felt so fresh in Bugis in my life. I mean, I do feel fresh once in a while, but in Orchard Road.

But in BU-FUCKING-GIS ? NEVER ! It is so close to my house, I feel like the ah bengs and ah lians who hang around there are my neighbours !

To carry on, I met Chan at Bugis, because he is to recommend me the books to buy for O levels.

I tan dio for 1 book, because I bought second hand. And I think it belonged to a malay, because that childish bastard liquid-ed his name on the cover. And it is a name I have problem pronouncing.

And I bought the original copy for the other book. Chan told me to buy only for science, because Math there is much to absorb, Math is all about practise.

Fuck leh, I really cannot tahan typing in boring black words.

But I shall carry on, for I know my loyal readers will read no matter how boring it is. But, whoever is reading this, please pay attention. I HATE IT when someone says he/she has read my blog, but when I go into the content, he/she does not remember what I'm talking.

What I'm trying to say is.. DON'T FUCKING PATRONISE ME. You cheebye better read the whole thing is you want to read.

I already try to make it easy to digest by making short paragraphs. And KAN NI NA you just scroll through and tell me you read. And when I post short blogs with pictures you all complain. KAN NI NA.

I'm not pissed at all, but it has to sound angry to be a warning mah.

Anyway, I shall continue.

Before I bought those books, I went to look for presents for AP and my cousin Da jie.

I am a quick shopper when it comes to gifts, so I just went in POA, asked FK which one looked nice, and I just brought it to the counter to pay.

I have this cheebye habit. When the counter assistant is a girl right, I will flash my notes. HAHAHA. I know it is a fucking hao lian thing to do. To elaborate, here's what I do.

1. I make sure she is waiting for the money.
2. I take out my wallet.
3. As I usually do not arrange my notes, I take out the whole stack.
4. I try to quickly pull the $50 notes from the stack, as if in a hurry, because she is waiting.
5. And as she is looking for the change, I roughly study how much I have left.

I know I am damn proud, and it's damn cheebye to do that, because it's not like i'm filthy rich and can afford to do that every single day.

But I did it, and I sincerely regretted it. Ok, I REGRET LIAO ok ?

Anyway I bought a top from POA for AP. I like that top, because it is like those the girls from Zouk wear.

Then I went to scout something for my cousin. I had to find something really simple for her. And I passed by this T-shirt shop, and it had nothing similar to NwO or PMK. And the designs were somewhat suitable for her age.

So I paid for it quickly, using the cheebye proud method. So sorry, Society. Jerks like me deserve to burn in hell.

Let's continue.

So I finished buying the gifts, and I went to buy books. After buying books, we went to have lunch, and I ordered a big plate of fruits!

Why ?

Because I got constipation. It is a sucky illness. Shitting is the best form of relaxation, and relieving stress. When you can't shit, you cannot relax or relieve stress. And it sucks.

So I order alot of fruits and make Jon and Chan finish them with me.

After that, we went to play some games and then went to drink. That's about it, that's about what's interesting.

Now I shall talk about random stuffs again.

Oh, I just found out the add photo button works, but I don't wanna try yet, cos i'm afraid it will fuck my post up.

Oh yah, I went to see my dream phone, and it fucking rocks. I really want it , it costs 1158 without plan. Wow.

I hope people share it for my birthday next year. How many people share also nevermind, as long as I have it.

LEST = SKULLY

2005-10-01T12:13:00.000+08:00

Guys ! My blogger is fucked !!! I have no idea what happened.

In the afternooon when i wanted to add a post, they told me they were under repairs/maintanence. And i decided to go play some Defence of the Ancients.

And now, 9pm, when I want to post again, the whole blogger's buttons went fucked. I don't know how to explain, and i thought of taking a screenshot to show. But on second thoughts, the "Add photo" button might not even work properly.

So i don't bother, lor.

Recently my mind is bogged up with alot of shit. I was thinking how to celebrate my 18th birthday, because it is coming in a few months time. Then I was thinking what to do after O levels, like, what kind of job will i go find.

Then I was thinking what to do with my this month's allowance. I have to buy presents for AP and my cousin.

I really don't know what to buy for girls leh. Especially my cousin. I don't really go notice the kind of clothes she wear, and her slippers already very stylo already, and she doesn't drink.

And she 22 or 23 years liao, where got play small small bear bear things. Really damn sian about this.

For AP maybe I can buy some clothes, that Kelly Poon wear, so she can carry on telling people she is actually Kelly hahahaha. But then again, I don't know how much my budget should be, because I haven't bought clothes for anyone since 2 years, besides my mom lah.

And tomorrow I'm meeting Fa Jiang to go buy books. O lvl books. I told him I want second hand one, cos cheaper, and using for 1 more month only, buy so expensive one for what. But I meeting him 5.30 leh.. Don't know what to do before that.

Then i called Don, but he cheebye, say got DUTY. Act until like DS or DI like that. In the end is actually accompany girlfriend. I ask why must accompany? Why so important?

He say 4 months monthsary. What does 4 month tell u? IT'S TIME TO BREAK LAH, SHITHEAD ! LOLOL

No lah j/k, I never told him that, lest he get upset about it.

Using the word "lest", I'm reminded of an incident. In primary 4 or 5, the teachers were trying their best to explain to us how to use the word "lest". They said it is like "otherwise" but only in some situations.

But i read the sentence once and I know how to use. It is actually english for "Skully" lor !

Like,

Better don't touch his botak head, skully he get angry and punch u in the balls.

English :

You better not touch his bald head, lest he gets angry and hurt you by giving you a punch in the genitals.

See? If ever you have doubts about using this word, just remember, LEST = SKULLY.

Thank me.

Under the lights

2005-09-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

Under the lights of my dimly litted room,
I hear songs that bring my mood to gloom.

I ponder about the points that made me sad.
But then, I remember the stuff that made me glad.

I know I have made a difference in my life,
By making choices I never thought I would make
And I went back on my choices, only to realise,
How different it would be, if I had sooner been awake.

Under the lights of that dimly litted grounds,
Many shared the torture I went through,
And through that, many priceless friendships I found.
The nights became easier to pass, easier to make do.

I know now, I daresay, I have grown.
I have learned.
I have been through hardships, under the lights.

AP's Bday chalet!

2005-09-26T09:02:00.000+08:00

Hello. Today i shall type about AP's birthday chalet.

Oh lets start with friday. My actual plans weren't actually successful, but nevermind. So we reached the chalet, and help AP bring all her food and heavy things in.

And as soon as we reached, we quickly brought out some chickens to marinate. I marinated the wings, but when we actually started eating, i ate the fillets only. Because i HATE chicken wings.

Cheebye, eat still must KNOW how to eat, must pluck this bone, and eat from here, and the little part cannot waste and WHAT THE FUCK. Eat finish liao must wash hands!

So I HATE the wings, and the fillets tasted much much much better. And so, after we finished eating, we actually walked around the place, and played a little bit of arcade before we went back to drink and then sleep.

And the next morning, I woke up too early, all of them were fast asleep. So i went for a puff and tried to repair my mp3 player's earphones. But it sucked so badly, there was no hope. So i went back to eat chocolate and wait for the rest to wake up.

When everyone woke up, we got changed and went to swim. I haven't swam for a while, and i actually dunno how to swim. But it doesn't matter, I got a little tan anyway. After that we went for lunch and went home for awhile to get changed and buy drinks for the big night.

It is a big night because there will be a lot of people. And indeed, it is.

So, the cutting cake went on, and we drank a little. After that I went to discussion for awhile and then went home.

Ok, now I don't really like to talk about what I actually do, so I wil just blog about random stuff.

Reporter: Shermen, do you usua...

*a tight slap on the reporter's face*

Shermen: You forgot the add "Mr. Handsome" in front and "The Great" behind.

Reporter: I'm very sorry Mr Handsome Shermen The Great. May I continue with my questions, Sir?

Shermen: I like it very much that you said the correct name and added a "Sir" behind now. Yes, you may.

Reporter: Thank you Mr Handsome Shermen The Great. May I know if you usually head out to streets like how you're dressed now?

Shermen: Oh, yes, of course not. This Armani Exchange T-shirt and Louis Vuitton pants are actually my pyajamas. You're a small time reporter, that is why I talk to you in my pyajamas.

Reporter: I see, Mr Handsome Shermen The Great. I would like to enquire about the recent rumours about you and Lindsay Lohan having a relationship. Is that true?

*punches reporter in the stomach*

Shermen: Your company says that you're here for an interview only on the topic of my new movie "Legend of the Fighting Parrot". I already gave you a chance by answering your question about my clothes. But you're taking my kindness too far, little wimp.

Reporter: Sor..rr..yyy

*kicks reporter in the groin*

Shermen: You have anything to say, say it properly. Or else, get another reporter here.

*reporter coughs blood and clears his throat*

Reporter: Sorry Mr Handsome Shermen The Great. I will stick only to questions regarding your new movie. How did you find co-operating with Steven Spielberg this time?

Shermen: He is a great man. He can make any scene alive, regardless of the unsuitable situations.

Reporter: How about your new album with Rube.....

*give reporter a round-horse kick on the face, followed by a karate chop on his knee*

Shermen: You forgot to say my name. I had enough, and I am going to cancel all appointments with your company in future, you dirt-cheap faggot.

Ok i KNOW I'm boliao and very stupid.

Bye.

Statue

2005-09-23T08:41:00.000+08:00

Isn't it weird?

You hear the phone ring. It could be anyone on the other end of the connection. But a ringing phone has to be answered, isn't it?

Hahahahaha. It is taken from the movie "Phone Booth".

I sometimes wonder, if anyone I do not know just stumble into my blog, and think that I am such a boring guy. Well, in fact, I am.

I also notice that there is a different in the writing patterns from the past and now. And I think I know why. I think it is because I am much bored now than in the past, and also, I tend to write for people, and not myself.

And I can't change it.

Anyway, whoever who reads this, please download the song Statue by Lowmillions. It is a very nice song.

I just ended a chat with Freddie, and he says he wants to teach me studies next week, which I think is a very suitable time, because I am rather busy this weekend due to several occasions, which include my brother's girlfriend's birthday chalet.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ? I just put so many things into one sentence. I'll try to form long sentences within this post. The below will be only in long sentences.

Yesterday, when I was using the laptop because my computer was screwed up, my mother came into the room looking at me and said I turned fairer, unlike a few months before when I was tanned because of the training in NS, and it is a thing i really hate to hear, because I like to be tanned, and in the past, my brother used to say that I look like a japanese girl when I had longer hair and fair complexion.

( Long sentence, digest that first.)

When I heard that, my mood went down a little, because, as I had explained, I hate to hear people say I am fair, and it wasn't easy for me to get tanned, because I do not have much friends who like sports, and even if I do sports with my friends, it would usually be playing badminton, which sadly, is an indoor sport, and it cannot be done outdoors, lest the winds affect the game.

(Digest that first)

Countless plans went through my mind, for example, going cycling at east coast, like what I had did 2 months ago, or maybe as tomorrow is my brother's girlfriend's birthday celebration chalet, which is near the beach, I could go try tanning a little, if fortunately, it is not raining.

(Not as long, but digest first)

I am really looking forward to the chalet tomorrow, because I already had the activities planned in my mind, and they include cyling or swimming in the afternoon, and dinner at night, and after that, will be a drinking session, as I intend to buy a bottle of Chivas Regal whisky there to drink with everyone, not to forget, my brother is also buying a bottle, which means we will have 2 bottles to drink, which I think we should not finish all in the first night, as there are 2 nights to stay at the chalet, and we can save some for the next night provided the first night we do not have people that are not close to the birthday girl coming in just to earn on the whisky.

(WTF ! VERY LONG SENTENCE! LOL!)

Okok, enough of very very long sentences. People are just going to scroll through and think I am mad. But the content is all true, I did not make up anything.

I'll try one last long sentence to end this post.

As I was calculating how much I have left in my wallet, I mean I already know I'm broke but, I actually do not have enough to buy a bottle to bring to my brother's girlfriend's birthday party chalet tomorrow, because the cheapest bottle of Chivas cost $49 bucks, and my brother promised to split the cost with me, which means I actuallly have to pay $24.50 only, but I stilll do not have enough, and I cannot believe my evil minds trying to take over my purity, making me ask from my mom and grandpa for money, but that is what I have actually been doing for quite long already, however, what makes me feel so bad taking their money now is because one day, my ahgong actually came into my room to search for cigarretes, and I feel so sad for him, because he usually buys his own, and I decided not to take too often, I mean I will still take, but not as often as before, but on second thoughts now, i think i should not really feel sad for him because he can give my brother $50 almost every week as if my brother is not working and needs the money more than me, which is definitely not true, because I am not working, and my meals are not paid by daddy, unlike my brother where my dad pays for his every meal because my brother is with him the whole day, and breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all taken care of by my father, but I have to actually pay for my breakfast every morning, or maybe sometimes eat instant noodles, and these all cost money, and eventually, my everyday expenses can actually triple my brother if he does not go drinking and spending money unwisely, like playing with model cars, but I would rather he play model cars than go drinking and wasting money every weekend on the alcohol that actually make your health worsen, I mean I think it is okay to drink on occasions but not every week, but to tell the truth, I have been doing that myself for this month, because, like i mentioned in my previous posts, I am kind of addicted to Discussion, though I haven't been there for like 2 weeks already, and Discussion is the main reason why I am left with $10+ in my wallet now, which cannot even afford for a bottle of Chivas Regal to bring to my brother's girlfriend's chalet.

HAHAHAHA. It is all in different colours to make reading easier. Longest sentence in the whole fucking world, dammit ! Try making a longer one than me and I will clap my hands for you, because that will show that you're bored than I am.

without you, I've been standing 'round you like a statue,
laying on the floor, thinking about you,
talking to myself, like the crazies do..

INXS

2005-09-23T06:48:00.000+08:00

Wah lan eh !!

Rockstar finale is today! And J.D won. Chao cheebye! Actually it's fine lah.

I supported MiG, because he the songs he sings very melancholic. BUT, obviously, I mean, everyone can tell, he is not suitable for INXS at all!

INXS is a dark rock group, with songs like By My Side. But I like his singings a lot. And also, he is a little too nervous every performance.

So, I switched to Marty Casey. I liked his renditions of Radiohead - Creep, and also his self-composed Trees. And I think he is very very handsome, indeed.

However, today, at the finale, what happened? Today, the real test was their collaboration with INXS themselves. INXS would play as the house band, and play for the contestants numbers. And for the second song, the contestants would have to sing INXS' song.

Firstly, Marty Casey sang Wish You Were Here, the song that made him win audience. And everyone thought it was good. But the second song, an INXS' song, he did badly.

However, on the other hand, J.D did all the songs naturally. And he looked especially charming in the finale. Maybe he deserved to win, after all. I'm going to buy the album for sure.

Anyway, recently I went to catch the movie "Night Watch". It is a russian movie, science-fiction.

I think it is not bad at all, because I like the idea of abstract stuff. However, everyone else I watched with thought it sucked.

Anyway, I found the lead actor to be awfully familiar. Hmmm. Can't remember.

I'm wondering how come my writing style in the past is so different from today.. I'll try to type something with my writing style in the past.

Wow.. these days i'm at home and with nothing to do. I wake up, rub my eyes, and play the computer. then, when my bro wants to sleep, I'll go down and watch tv till the next morning and go up to play games again, and till i'm tired i'll go sleep, and I wake up, rub my eyes, and play the computer. then, when my bro wants to sleep, I'll go down and watch tv till the next morning and go up to play games again, and till i'm tired i'll go sleep, and I wake up, rub my eyes, and play the computer. then, when my bro wants to sleep, I'll go down and watch tv till the next morning and go up to play games again, and till i'm tired i'll go sleep, and I wake up, rub my eyes, and play the computer. then, when my bro wants to sleep, I'll go down and watch tv till the next morning and go up to play games again, and till i'm tired i'll go sleep.

That's what i do for a few days already. I'm broke, I dun wanna study, and I dun wanna do anything about not studying. I feel like a fucked bitch. And i am very jealous of my brother, cos my ahgong always give him $50. and i get NOTHING. And when I ask for money, he will show me a bored face.

BIAS LEH.

2005-09-22T17:01:00.000+08:00

COMBINATION for DISASTER

2005-09-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

I tried and tried and tried to put pictures before I started this post today.

But it seems my computer has been infected with some virus. Everytime I click on the upload photo button, an error message pops up and automatically closes my IE window. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again. And I try again. And it closes again.

Okay so I decided to just type today.

Recently my mom cancelled the Japanese channel which my dad used to watch, and signed up for Star Movies. IT ROCKS MAN!

I watched Phone Booth yesterday and Casino today.

I shall blog about Casino and not Phone Booth before Casino has much more depth and emotions.

Casino is acted by Robert De Niro and HE ROCKS!

Ok in the show, he is a guy called "Ace", which I think is a very suitable name for a Casino Director.

He is somehow linked to the Bad Guys, but he is a good guy himself. He treats his workers badly, I think because he is rich, and cannot give a damn about small fries' feelings. The story goes on.

He fell in love with a girl, called Ginger. She did not love him, and firstly rejected his proposal for marriage. But she had troubles in her life and needed a man to be there for her. So she in the end agreed to being with Ace.

I shall keep it short, because it is boring to type a movie out.

She slowly becomes a fucked up tai-tai, and spends Ace's money anyhow. Ace, being linked to many bad guys, sent his men to beat up a guy which Ginger lent money to. He suspected she was cheating on her. And their relationship worsens.

Ace has a friend called Nicky. Meanwhile, Nicky got into trouble with ALL the Casinos in Las Vegas and got banned from every single casino in Las Vegas. Ace couldn't do a thing. He resorted to stealing money from the money department of casinos, and saved them up to open a restaurant.

Slowly, he made his way up and could enter casinos again.

Ginger ran out of people to cheat with, so she turned to Nicky. And slowly Ace finds out and things get bad. She turned into such a slut that she went berserk thinking of how to take Ace's money.

Meanwhile, the F.B.I was investigating on Nicky and everybody he associated with. But Ace was clean in the eyes of the F.B.I, because he did not kill anyone but Nicky did. The F.B.I found out about Ginger and Nicky's affair too.

And one day, Ginger went to the bank to bring out Ace's money. And that's when the F.B.I decided to take action. They caught Nicky and Ginger and every other gangster in Vegas.

Nicky became worse. He sent men to try to kill every single man, including his own superiors. That will mean the gangsters that are related to Ace. Also, he tried to bomb Ace, but Ace was lucky because he drives a Rolls' Royce, which had a metal plate to protect the driver.

Ace's bosses couldn't take it any longer. And so, they killed Nicky and his brother, Dominick, by burying them alive.

Actually, nows my fav part. In between the story, reporters interviewed Ace and twisted his words. Ace was only the second in command of the casino, though he actually handles the whole thing. The real boss does nothing. The reporters actually made Ace say that HE is the BOSS.

And Ace had to make his reputation look good. So he applied for the license for the casino. However, an uncle of a manager he fired, bribed the authorities and they cancelled his application in court, in front of him.

Ace reputation went down, and his career worsened. He couldn't work in the same casino anymore. However, he went to work as an entertainment manager in another casino. That meant that he only hosted shows, and speaked to people and entertained.

He made use of his new post and gained back everything. He is very smart. That's it.

Ok.. The title is because of a new song I like a lot, after watching Rockstar INXS. Marty Casey composed himself, and the title is "Trees". The title is part of the lyrics.

Mig ayesa, another contestant, is very good too. He sang a song called "Baby I love your way" by Peter Frampton (i think). And it sounded so nice. I remember one of the judges saying," Mig, every week, I have to sit here, thinking of comments to give you. But tonight( after hearing the song), all i could think of, was my wife."

Good good. I like another song too, it is Fix You by Coldplay. Though the fucker can't sing for fuck's sake, the music is very.. er.. how to describe.. it pushes my senses. Good.

OKAY I KNOW THIS POST iS VERY VERY BORING.

Let me start a wishlist. I hope every of my fellow famous blogger does the same, and I can see it and hopefully try to help fulfil it ok ? HERE GOES..

1. I want to eat at Jalan Kayu again. But I don't want to take cab, I only want to take bus 103, which is available @ fellow blogger Hwee-Ling(feeling)'s place, Serangoon.

2. I want Apple IPOD Nano. It fucking rocks LAH!

3. If i have this, I don't need Apple IPOD Nano. The new IpaQ which has everything including road directory. It is a PDA phone.

4. I want to go holiday at the end of the year.

5. I want to slim down. (This i think no one can help)

6. I want to get tanned. (I initially typed 'I wan a tan' but i was afraid people do not get it)

7. I want a shirt from red liquid.

8. I want a pair of jeans. Most of my jeans tore, fuck it.

That should finish the list. Fellow famous blogger please make 1 too, ok ?

Life is so different from what we thought

2005-09-15T22:22:00.000+08:00

SOMEONE GOT BUSTED! LOL LOL LOL LOL. SYS get what I mean ?

In vogue now.

2005-09-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

Because my readers again complain my previous entry is stupid. I'm going to write something constructive now.

I am shutting down my blog, thus the title. Because many famous bloggers suddenly intend to stop writing or maybe change the whole page to something stupid, I'm following the former.

Just kidding.

Anyway the above are pictures of myself, one of them at Ray's bday early this year, and another in late May. I put the better looking one in front, as in balance to all my fat and ugly photos in this page.

ANYWAY, I am turning very very fat recently. I realised when i was using my dad's phone to take pictures of myself. Those cellulite popping out from the sides of my face, and yes, I realised i've been eating more and more lately.

What the. I'm convinced my fat after another incident after i took photos. I went KTV with Fatt and the rest. And Fatt told me to turn down the echo a little. So I went to the machine, and out of a sudden, PIANG! WL's glass of Shirley Temple broke

I asked them, "It was me?". And Fatt nodded his head as if he really did not want me to think i'm the fucking culprit. I'M FAT. Cheebye. I have to stop eating. Really, I have to. Maybe I shall learn from PECK LENG, and start gobbling on fruits and nothing else.

Can all my friends do me a favour when they read this post? Tell me I'm turning fat. But don't tell me i'm already fat, use the word TURNING.

But please stop as soon as i lose weight, ok ? Don't go overboard. I hope the peer pressure will work. Thanks a lot.

Oh, and recently I realised I like to go discussion more and more. Maybe because my Idol's there. By the way, everyone can say I'm fat except Jackson. That's because he's worst. If he says I'm fat, then the whole world is made up of black giants.

Next, while waiting for my noodles to be made by my maid, I shall talk about my young hobbies.

It's in a total different colour now because it's a different topic.

When I was young, I collected a lot of stuff, but I did not enjoy collecting them. For example, I collected stamps. Then I felt bored with it, and I went collecting stickers.

But I merely collected because I just wanted a hobby. Or rather, a collection. I always read Young Generation(YG) children's magazine and the cartoon characters always have hobbies.

Or rather, every children gameshow, while featuring the children, the host willl ask "What's your favourite pastime?". And the children will behave so proud about their collection of stamps or stickers. And I wanted to have something to show off about, so I will pester my parents to get me a sticker book.

So stupid right. So right now, I hope whichever reader who has a blog write about their childhood pastime too, ok?

And let me comment on how stupid you are.

SO , so drunk.

2005-09-10T19:33:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Again, before i start, the above are a few pics of jer's birthday we took.

I did not really had the inspiration to blog, but a few of my readers complained that I haven't been updating much, so i decided. A post!

Anyway, I am half-drunk now, and I really do not know if i am talking the right stuff. Anyway, I had been to Stone Cove just now, then to discussion. I sms-ed my Idol (Darren), asking if he is going discussion tonight and he said yes and told me to go join him.

Oh, I did not write about my idol ? He is a really really good singer. He is the best I've heard real life in my whole fucking life. He is better than any other superstar, and he sounds good in any, any song. He is the best.

Anyway, I went down discussion, met my idol, and made a few friends. A guy called Quan Long, Micheal's friend, and also a few regular singers who were drunk too. It's more fun than before now, because discussion feels like a big family.

All of us made friends with people we do not know, and talked like we've known each other for years. is it because we're all drunk ?

Well, I know we'll remember each other even if were sober. That's because before that, I went to Stone Cove, and met Jimmy. He is a guy who was half-drunk when I knew him, and he still remembered me, and when did we met.

I'm happy to have met so many people. Anyway, as a proof to my character, I do not behave like a nobody who carries a mug of beer and go around talking cock to people. It is the others that do that, and it is the rest that do that to me. I only talked to Quan Long because he is the same table to me.

Well, it was a fun night, and I think i want to end it now, before I puke on the computer screen. Good night!

A secret i kept close to my heart for years

2005-09-04T14:57:00.000+08:00

Hello. Before i begin, here's a pic to show how happy we were on jer's birthday. It doesn't matter if some of their smiles look too fake, we were happy, ok ?

Ok. I shall start with the secret I kept close to my heart for year.

I was about 3 or 4 years old then. I loved to stay in my uncle's house at Harbie Cloze( i think i spelled wrong but that's how you pronounce the place).

See, Their house really looked like those semi-detached houses you see in Desperate Housewives. It had 2 storeys and had a really cosy feeling.

Oh, let me talk about an incident. See, at that time, my house only had the squat toilet bowls. And at their house, they had the sitting type. So everytime i had to poo, I dared not sit on the toilet seat. Because i was afraid i would fall into the bowl.

So I cruelly shit on the floor, and shout "AH MA!!!!" repeatedly. My granny would then come and scold me. Tell me to shit inside the toilet bowl, then clean the shit. I know it is very mmean for me. She is not my maid, but my granny. How could I make a 60+ year old clean my shit?

Let's get back to my secret. See, somehow I got to know the neighbours daughter. I don't know her name and I don't fucking care. I always went over to play Sega the gaming machine. I liked to play "Beast". But that slut always make me play "Batman".

Why? Batman got no powers, only stupid gadgets that run out. But the Beast can transform into a Beast and have unlimited powers. And can play 2 player somemore. But that slut liked Batman.

Okay, anyway, occasionally she would realise that I do not talk to her while playing the Sega machine, so she would lie( i suppose ) that the machine is spoilt, and we have to do drawing instead. WHAT THE FUCK?

I go for the machine and only for the machine. Dun fucking tell me to draw stupid soldiers when I have more color pencils than you at home.

Anyway, i guess she was tired of drawing one day, she told me to follow her into her room. Then, she started taking her dresses out of her closet, and forced me to wear them. I stupidly listened to her. I wore them. Next, she told me to lie on the bed with her.

CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT?

Then I stupidly lied down. Now guess what. Her maid came up into her room, and saw us. Then she screamed. I got a shock of my life. I suddenly went, "What was I doing??"

And i quickly changed back to my clothes and went back to my uncle's house. And i never return again. I was traumatised at that time, and I felt as if i had done something very wrong, and I thought, if anyone were to find out, I will be so embarassed I will shrink into a piece of soap.

It was only until primary 3 or 4 that I forgot all about it. I lost my chastity at 3 years old. Thank you slut, for making me play BATMAN, draw stupid soldiers and taking away my chastity. Thanks.

What is Puching, exactly?

2005-09-03T07:12:00.000+08:00

I am so sick and tired of being such a popular blogger. Almost everyday, a reporter who already has no questions for me, comes up with a lousy article that says, "Behold! Puching ARRIVES".

It's like, the 24th article I've already seen that starts like that. Never mind. And they never fail to ask the SAME questions again and again. "Shermen the Great, what does Puching, the title of your blog name, mean anyway?"

I am so sick and tired of telling them to write my full name in articles instead of adopting me any nicknames like "The Great" or "The One", maybe "The Only One". I was hoping that if they use my full name they can actually see the link in my chinese name with my blog. But no.

So the above is a picture that, in short, tells people what I actually do for a living.

Now, the inspiration for this blog comes from yesterday.

Actually, recently I have been running out of things to blog. But seems SYS keep reminding me to blog about this, that, this, that. And I now think that I'm just mentally so occupied, I cannot remind myself to blog.

Anyway. I went to play badminton 2 days ago. Jack and I versus SYS and KNN. We played doubles. Well, see, both Jack and I are left handed. And I was standing on the right side. He has some problems co-ordinating with me. And out of a sudden, he ran towards me, and I accidentally hit his head. I mean, SMACK his head.

I initially felt guilty, but soon i felt he deserved it for being so stupid. Hahaha.

Anyway, I was reminded(by sys) to blog that:

The female judge in Project superstar's boobs are BIG.

That we ate pizza, while watching Project superstar, and were so excited like the ahbengs watching soccer at kopitiam.

That when we were on our way home from Jalan Besar CC, the taxi driver asked me to get down the taxi. As a joke. Well, maybe.

To end, you can actually get your very cool name from www.cyborgname.com.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERMAINE FOO TUI LI!

2005-08-27T18:08:00.000+08:00

OH! What a day has come!

Jermaine Foo Tui Li, my brother, is 20 years old!

What a difference it makes, 19 and 20. 19 is an age that starts with "1" and 20 is an age that starts with "2". And normally, when you walk on the streets and someone tells you that a friend, 19 years old is meeting them, you go thinking, "Which other delinquent can this young dude look like".

And on the contrary, if a friend tells me he/she is meeting someone 20 year old, I will go, "This person must be mature. I must not act my usual childish self infront of him/her".

See! What a big difference in thoughts of others it makes, not to mention the other benefits of being a 20 year old.

So, YAY! Happy birthday to my brother Jermaine.

Anyway, I was shopping around Marina Square and Suntec City in the afternoon with Jack, SYS and his GF. We were looking for presents for my brother and my mother.

Yes, my mom's birthday is just a few days after my brother's so they are celebrating it together tonight. Anyway, we walked past U2, and I saw this green jacket that looks very handsome on me or Jermaine.

Well it doesn't matter. It is the kind of half-formal-half-casual jacket that the guys in Project Superstar usually wear. It has pockets inside and is made of good quality. The rest was considering to share that for Jermaine. Anyway, I was trying it out, because apparently, Jermaine is wearing the same size of clothes with me. Either I have slimmed down or that booger is getting FAT.

Anyway, it looked weird on me, but I know Jermaine will look very good in it. Because of his long hair, he might just look like any other Superstar finalist!

Yeah, and then we walked around and saw this ladies bag push-cart shop.

I saw a very elegant bag which could suit my mom just well. It is elegant, yet fashionable and trendy at the same time. It has shiny butterflies printed on it. However, it does not have sequins.

I do not know why, but after I worked in Epinx, I seem to have better taste for ladies clothes. I picked that bag, and Jack picked another one. I was very confident of what I chose, and ask Carina which bag looks better. She said OFCOURSE IT IS THE ONE I CHOSE.

Anyway, they shared that bag for my momma.

Next, we were walking around, went down and up the escalators. And Ivor sms-ed to say he saw me. Well, I wanted to go visit him at work but found that it is a total different direction from where we were going, so I decided not to.

Anyway, as we were walking out of Suntec City. I saw 2LT. Tang Yong Chong! That is my ex-pc! I was astonished to be able to see any of the officers after I left. Anyway we just had short chat and a handshake and we left for our own. I doubt i will see any of the specs or officers after today.

As i was typing this, I was thinking. My mom's birthday is coming soon too. If i do not write a similar post for her, will it seem that I am biased towards her, or that I do not care about her birthday?

I was intending to write one on her birthday, and I realised that the inspiration for this post was not because of my brother. If I had no inspiration, and I did not write for my brother, will it appear that I do not care for him as well? Definitely no.

So I decided, I write for who I want, when I want, and how I want it to be. Goodness!

Blind superstar?

2005-08-27T04:49:00.000+08:00

Before i begin.. www.kennysia.com 's Kenny Sia has also written a post about stupid childish 13year old blogger skins. Do all smart bloggers write about the same thing?

Anyway recently there had been a Project Superstar craze about my friends. Many were talking about how Hong Jun Yang should have emerged as the champion of the male contestants and not Tan Wei Lian, and that Wei Lian's votes are out of sympathy.

In my opinion, I feel both are equally good. They have their own weaknesses and strengths. Many do not realise, but Jun Yang's voice is imitating JJ Lin. Do you realise that?

I have to admit, even though at times, Jun Yang's performances are better than Wei Lian, I still vote for Wei Lian. It is not out of sympathy, neither is it in the disguise of admiration for his courage.

Yes, his courage is very remarkable. I would had been hiding in my closet listening to pop songs while hearing people talk about Project Superstar if I were him.

However, everytime I text a vote, it is because I expect to see better performances in the future. And therefore, I expected good and better performances from Wei Lian, than from Jun Yang. Watching Jun Yang, I could feel he is different from any other singer. However LISTENING to him, I could hear JJ Lin in the backstage singing for him.

I mean, the top prize for the contest is a singing contract with Universal Music or PLAY Music. And I would rather listen to Wei Lian's voice, as his voice is special, has a wide range, and manages to bring the potential of the sentimental songs out fully, than to listen to Hong Jun Yang's who has a narrow range, plain, yet sounding like JJ Lin at the same time.

No doubt, many of Wei Lian's votes might come from sympathy from the aunties and uncles. But like what himself said, why should anyone sympathise with him, if he had no quality at all?

I remembered there was a blind lady who went for audition at Singapore Idol last year. Why didn't anyone sympathise with her, allow her to enter, and let her emerge as the champion?

That is because she does not have the quality voice. Many might think now, that Wei Lian has quality voice, but not the quality package.

While Jun Yang has it all. He can dance, he can charm girls, he can sing well.

Now, this proves a different thing. That Wei Lian could beat Jun Yang flat, without having the need to charm girls or dance. Maybe I sound too one-sided.

Now, didn't we already forget, that in the beginning, many people were already saying that Wei Lian couldn't make it. And many people were already saying that he should be out in the quarter-finals.

And seriously, I despise people who claim Wei Lian won by sympathy ONLY. I say he won by sympathy partially. Like how I will say, Jun yang could have won ONLY by his looks. But the fact is that, if he won, it is only partly because of his looks, am I right.

And, theoretically, Wei Lian has a large market value. But realistically, no one can prove it just yet. Well, we'll just have to see how the music company manages his market image.

Anyway.

Here's a total different topic.

I was taking the train home from clementi the other day, after my oral examinations. Then, I saw a little boy sit beside me, and his mother standing infront of him. Immediately, I gave my sit up to her.

She thanked me countless times, but as I was listening to my MP3, I pretended that I could not hear her and I just went somewhere else to stand. Why ? ?

Because I was too shy to say "You're Welcome" or "It's Alright". Because as she kept on thanking me, the whole train cartridge was looking at me. I felt so paiseh, I was hoping they're not thinking "Aiyah, this guy just trying to act kind".

I don't know if people will think this way if anyway gives up a seat, but i was just too shy to say anything. Haha. I did a lot of good deeds recently. I hope god will throw US$1000,000 into my flat at 23rd floor.

FUCK YOU SWINDLERS!

2005-08-25T04:46:00.000+08:00

HELLO

I realised the date and time of the previous post a little screwed up, because I had to quickly publish it and I had no time to change the date and time.

It doesn't matter much though. Anyway I had been meeting up with Jack the past few days. He wanted to go visit the fortune teller 2 days ago and I went with him.

I walked to Bencoolen St. to meet up with him. And when I reached, there is a lady dressed casually. She was wearing a dark green Giordano shirt and a normal denim 3/4s. Here's what happened. I walked past her, and she called out for me.

Dark Green Lady (DGL): Hello?

Me: (thinking that it might be someone who knows me) Ya?

DGL: *gives a smile and walked towards me* Sorry, but I'm looking for a job now. Ni ting de dong hua wen ma? (Do you understand chinese?)

(Rest of dialogue is in chinese)

Me: Yes I do.

DGL: Oh ok. Sorry, but I'm looking for a job right now.

Me: Sorry, I have no job to introduce.

DGL: No no, I have a mother who is diabetic, and a younger brother and younger sister. Do you understand chinese?

Me: YES, I understand chinese.

DGL: Oh okay, my mother is diabetic, and I need to buy porridge for my family. Do you understand chinese?

At this point, I don't know if she really is that stupid to not realise I had been conversing with her in chinese the whole time, or that she is just trying to act stupid with me and create more sympathy marks.

Me: YES I UNDERSTAND, Would please carry on??

DGL: Oh, sorry if i disturbed you. But I need $18 to buy porridge for my family.

Me: (finally understand why she had been bugging me, and mistaken $18 for $8) So you are asking money from me?

DGL: Yes, I need $18 to buy porridge for my family. You can understand chinese right?

Me: (fucking pissed already) *passed her $10* Okay, take this to buy porridge for your family.

DGL: Thank you, thank you, but this is not enough. $18.

Me: (pissed) Sorry, that is all I have on me(it really is all I have). If you want you can ask my friend.

Jackson was on the phone, just beside us. I was fucking pissed because $10 can buy you more than just 4 bowls of porridge. I do not know if she needs more money for more porridge, or that she is up to no good.

DGL: Hello, do you understand chinese?

Jack: Yes, I do.

DGL: Sorry, I need $8 more to buy porridge.

HER PORRIDGE FROM CRYSTAL JADE OR WHAT??

Jack: (not knowing that I had already given her $10) *passes her $8* Ok, use this to buy your porridge, don't worry.

DGL: Thank you, thank you. My name is Ling Hui.

Jack: Oh ok. *proceeds to talk on the phone*

DGL, to me: What is your name?

Me: Oh, Jackson.

DGL, to Jack: What is your name?

Jack: Shermen.

We were walking to 7-11, trying to shake her off. And she kept following us, and repeating that her name is Ling Hui. I did not bother about her, but she kept following us. I was wondering if she wanted more than money. Like.. you know.

DGL: Can you give me another $8?

Me: NO, I HAVE GIVEN YOU ALL MY MONEY.

DGL: Can you ask your friend to lend me?

Me: You can go ask him yourself if you really want the money.

Jackson was standing inside 7-11, with a lot of people inside. She went in to talk to Jackson, and I did not want to go in to listen to her rubbish. And she came out..

DGL: Your friends says he has no money too. Sorry for disturbing you guys.

Me: Ya, ok ok ok. Go and buy your porridge.

I was fucking annoyed that she asked the same questions again and again and again. And that porridge also need to buy Crystal Jade one(i assume).

After that, the whole day i felt very cheated. Don't know why also.

Anyway yesterday I went for my oral examination, and I had to wait 2 - 3 hours for my turn. And I supposed my performance was fairly well. They seemed quite entertained by my conversation. Hope i get high marks lo.

cheebye

2005-08-19T18:31:00.000+08:00

Hello !

I have been thinking recently about a lot of things. Well, I always think about a lot of things. But anyway, I was thinking if my writing style has been influenced by the famous bloggers, like xiaxue or kennysia.

I somehow think that more or less, yes, I am influenced by them. Somehow, influence does not mean I want to imitate their writing. But instead, I will always want to add a little bit of humour in the blog. Well, maybe to many, it is not funny,but who cares, I think it's humour can liao.

Anyway.. I was supposed to meet up with FAMOUS BLOGGER Hwee-Ling(feeling) to study. But then again, I think that I should not study on a friday. Fridays are meant for relaxation lo. So, I said NVM to her. Haha.

Anyway, Chan just called. And I'm meeting him before I meet with my campmates. I'm going to Orchard soon, after I bath, and in a new hair cut. Can't wait to hear the praises about my new hair. I like this new hair alot. Fuck, i mean I like this new hairstyle alot.

Yep. Oh yeah, yesterday I went to ter's place to study. And at night before we slept, we chatted about our bai jia zi days. And lots of images of the past came back. We were talking about what we did, how irresponsible we were, and how only the word fun appeared in our brains.

Thinking of it, I really missed those days. When you wake up, you just think of where are you going tonight, and how are you going to spend the evening. Is it chocolate bar, or is there any other nicer places to go drink. We had no budget at all. Our only problem was that we were bored of all our usual places.

The febuary and march archive are evidence. Evidence of our irresponsible, fun, and only fun life. I miss it, and I hope next year's febuary will be the same. I really hope so.................